Love Me Love Me Not
by Namasilvereyes
Summary: Unwanted, unloved, despised, condemned. These are just someof the things that he could nicely say about himself. NOT FOR THE WEAK OF STOMACHE OR FAINT OF HEART. AU, MPREG, EXTREME ANGST, and possible strong language.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Love Me Love Me Not

Chapter: In the Beginning

Date: June 27, 2010

_**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or profit from this fiction.**_

Raja was not a happy white inu demon queen and her mate was not a happy white inu demon king. They had just heard some appalling, surprising, impossible, and upsetting news from the palace healer. The ningen hime that Raja's mate had taken into his harem almost a year ago after the raid of a human king that was getting to greedy for his own good had become pregnant. What made the news so surprising and impossible is that one; her husband's harem had only been touched by him which was ensured through many locked doors and guards, two; the hime's spiritual energy (no matter how weak after the sullying of her body) should have killed the child, and three; the best healer in the lands had prepared the herbal tea that was supposed to ensure against pregnancy. The fact that it did not was disturbing news as the child would have to be born a hanyou or it would be born only half formed, resulting in a still birth. Raja's mate dismissed the healer before turning to address her.

"How are you feelings upon this matter, Raja?" He asked as he was sincerely concerned for feelings. For the past four hundred years she had not been able to give him a child and was close to the end of her breeding years. For her to be outdone by a mere whore in her husband's harem was practically an insult no matter whether or not it was intentional.

"I am angry, InuTaisho. I am angry and upset, but not toward you. I also will not knowingly cause harm to an unborn child or any child. It may live, but once the child is born, you will have to be rid of her. Such a thing cannot be repeated within these walls. What you do with the child afterwards will be up to you." Raja may be cruel and cold hearted to those that do not know her well or for whom she must keep her mask while playing diplomat, but she was not really either of those things.

"As you wish koi." Inutaisho barked out his orders for the impregnated ningen to be isolated for no one could know what had taken place with the ningen. All any ever need to know was that he had tired of her and sent her back to her own lands having repaid the full debt that he pigheaded father had incurred with his ego and greed.

* * *

A beautiful woman with skin the color of snow that contrasted starkly with her pitch colored hair and warm, soft violet eyes sat alone in the small room that she had been locked in. Her hands were rubbing her belly softly while she stared at something that had yet to appear to her while softly singing a lullaby that had been sung to her when her parents had had to travel away from her for long periods of time. At the moment, she was singing it more to herself than to the being that was supposed to be resting within and depending upon her body. She did not know why she had been given that child that was developing in her womb as she had never wanted to be impregnated by the vicious monster that kidnapped her from her home before using her like nothing more than a common whore.

When she had been informed that pregnancy was the reason for her sickness, she had fainted as the thought of carrying that monster seed in her for however long it took the thing to be born finally clicked within her mind. She had been denying that she could possibly be carrying the abominable spawn of that demon that enjoyed raping her so viciously. It disgusted her, and as she sat in that room, singing to herself, her eyes hardened and turned cold as she came to a tumultuous decision. She may not have much freedom, but she would not be forced into birthing the parasite that was trying desperately to thrive within her body. She was going to get rid of the little disease before it became old enough to live. It went against everything she had once stood for, but captivity changes people.

Over the next three months, she had tried everything she could think of with the resources she had. She had refused to eat for up a nine days time yet the thing continued to stay stubbornly within her body. She had dropped herself painfully from the highest object in the room that she could find and she still did not miscarry. She refused water, attempted to anger the guards into violence, even begging and still nothing had worked to get rid of the pest that she had been infected with. With a heavy heart, she finally found herself defeated and decided to wait out the pregnancy until it was getting close to the time to birth the abomination.

As she entered the last stage of her pregnancy, the princess known as Izaiyoi began to once again plot the unborn child's demise. She would not set another monster out into the world; she would not allow something so vile and foul to be born alive of her body. Once again, she did everything that she could to ensure that the child was stillborn. Depriving herself of her body's need to eat and drink, harming her abdomen, and trying to summon her limited spirit energy were her attempts at killing the child. She did one thing or another until after a particularly hard fall of a chair that she had placed on a desk; she began to feel sharp pains in her abdomen. She cried out to the guards that were placed just outside of her isolated room. The child was coming.

* * *

A healthy wail rang throughout the small isolation room of an almost neglected wing of the Western Palace. The bastard child had been born and it was a healthy little boy. Ten fingers and toes, unhealthily underweight for an almost full term newborn, hair that glistened like wet snow in the winter and just as white, a small straight nose, and two little white triangular puppy ears were perched atop the infant's head. The hanyou child was handed to his father for inspection while the human wench's body was properly disposed of after having not survived the birth of the child.

InuTaisho inspected the child clinically before deeming the child worth keeping even though the child would never be acknowledged as an heir of the Western Lands or even given a position of rank. The DaiYoukai ordered that the half-breed mutt to be put with a wet nurse until he becomes of age to be useful. The boy could at least be useful and work to repay the generosity and mercy that Raja had begged for on his behalf.

"My lord?" the small voice of the record keeper spoke up. InuTaisho looked back at the small, green kappa demon.

"Yes Jaken?"

"What should the pup be called?"

"Should the guards be correct about the attempts of the ningen wench on the pup's life, he shall be known by Inuyasha." Without another word, the demon lord of the Western Lands left the room and the crying infant that he had handed back off to the healer for further examination of the pup's health.

**A/N: Short, I know. This is just a teaser. I want to know what you guys think as the pairing will be unusual and it is very AU in some aspects. There is also no Kagome, Miroku, or Kaede's village in this story. Should I get a good response, I will lengthen the next chapters and post in multiples for this story as well.**

**Nama**


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Love Me Love Me Not

Chapter: A Miracle and A Tragedy

Date: July 3, 2010

InuTaisho was over the moon with glee at the news he had just received from his mate after her visit to the healer. She was finally pregnant and it was not a moment too soon either as they could tell that this season had been her last chance to give him a child or forfeit the mating so that he could properly impregnate another. She was overjoyed as well as she had always wanted a pup of her own to care for. She was tired of watching the other mated inus laugh, play, and rear their own pups while her body betrayed her by refusing to become pregnant. It was finally happening and the royal leaders were bursting with the joy of their blessed miracle. Especially as it seemed to bring Raja out of her ninety year depression after the ningen had bore her mate a child and she had not.

Word spread fast throughout the palace that the Lady of the West was finally with child. The servants that worked in the palace were excited about the prospect of having the first royal birthed child since InuTaisho himself almost three millennia ago. The kitchen staff went about preparing foods that would encourage strong growth of the child and good health in the mother while the tailors were just waiting for the orders to begin the royal pup's wardrobe. The air of joy and excitement was so festive that it even reached the villages outside of the palace walls. From there, the news that Queen Raja was expecting the heir of the Western Lands spread to the lands of the north, south, and east. By the end of the season, InuTaisho was already being swamped with offers to arrange a mating between the unborn child and another's child. He put those aside for the moment, as they did not know the gender of the child nor did they know whether the child would be an Alpha or a Beta. The anticipation did not last long.

Halfway through the pregnancy, Lady Raja fell seriously ill and none of the healers could figure out why. After putting the Lady of the West on bed rest for a month and examining her thoroughly with consultations from other healers, they finally believed that they had the answer to the inu queen's ailment. They went over all other possible options before they dared to approach the Lord of the West. Their conclusions, however, continued to come back to the same thing no matter how they examined her or looked at the results.

"My lord?" Healer Pancho spoke up softly as he watched the distraught lord caress his mate and child lovingly. The great inu demon looked up and merely nodded for the healer to say what he had to say.

"We have found the cause of Lady Raja's ailment."

"What it is? Can you fix it?"

"The pup is killing her, my lord. It is sapping too much of her strength and youki." InuTaisho looked at the healer to see if his words were a lie, but he neither saw nor smelt any deceit off of the raccoon demon.

"Can the problem be fixed?" InuTaisho asked desperately. The healer shook his head in the negative.

"You are already overcompensating for the youki that she cannot provide, but the pup cannot survive on your youki alone. Without Lady Raja's youki the pup will never be grounded enough to survive on its own. The pup will have to be terminated or it will drain her of all her youki and kill her. How long it will take the pup to do that is unsure, but it is definite that the pup will kill her." InuTaisho dismissed the healer as he looked back at his mate who had been listening to every word. He saw the tears in her eyes as she was in one of her rare lucid periods and actually understood what was going on.

"This decision is purely up to you, koi. I will not influence your decision either way." InuTaisho kissed her brow softly before giving her the space he knew she needed to decide whether or not she would continue with the pregnancy.

InuTaisho's howl of grief could be heard throughout the palace and its neighboring grounds. The Lady Raja had gone through with the pregnancy, but during the birthing process yet another with the pup had come up. During the birthing, the healer had found that the Lady's birthing canal was too small to allow the pup passage. They were going to have to assist in opening her body enough to allow the pup to pass or the pup would smother to death. They managed to dilate her enough to allow the pup through, but the white haired infant did not move nor cry when separated from its mother's body. The healer barked out to a small presence outside the Lady's room.

A hanyou with white hair, golden eyes, and white puppy ears on top of his head quickly and quietly entered the room carrying a bundle wrapped in cloth. The half-breed handed the bundle to the healer before backing out of the way, not having been dismissed from the room quite yet. InuTaisho was distracted by his bastard child for a moment before returning all of his attentions to his mate and child. The Lady of the West was fading fast and she had not provided enough youki to the pup for it to survive on its own. The healer opened the cloth to reveal a wooden, hollowed branch that had several symbols written on either side of the openings. Placing the infant's chest against one end of the wooden instrument, he settled the other end in the direction of the Lady of the West and began to chant softly. The glow of youki began to surround infant and mother as the healer continued to chant. After a moment, the glow began to dim rapidly on the queen of inus while it began to slowly become brighter on the newborn pup. Only when the glow around Raja disappeared did the healer stop chanting. He looked at the pup in his hands and examined it thoroughly before looking at his lord.

"It was not enough, my lord. My condolences." InuTaisho howled his grief to the skies and any deity that would listen to his mournful cry. Both healer and hanyou left the lord with his deceased mate and child to mourn.

By morning the entire palace had received word of the untimely death of the Lady of the West and of the heir of the Western Lands. The child would have made a great lord had he lived, but it was not so. When InuTaisho wondered the halls of his palace the day after his mate and child's death, he was relieved to see that the servants had taken proper action. Thick, dark curtains covered the large, airy windows while any paintings of the Lady of the West had been draped in black. All visitors had been politely but quickly evacuated and any pending visits were immediately postponed or cancelled all together. For the next year, the Lord of the West and inu king was to be given space to mourn for all that he had lost. All matters that had to be handled above local authority were delegated to the inu council or by regional authority.

_**A/N: I know it was cruel of me, but it serves a purpose as well as I said that this would be a pretty dark story. I'm still up in the air about whether or not I'm going to end this story on a good note or not. Please REVIEW, REVIEW, AND REVIEW!**_

**_Nama_**


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Love Me Love Me Not

Chapter: Everything Changed

Date: July 4, 2010

_**One Hundred Years Later**_

Healer Pancho watched as his charge for the past one hundred and sixty years played like a mere toddler amongst the gardens. He was happy that Inuyasha could find such joy in playing with himself as well as the creatures of Nature, for they seemed to be his only companions in Inuyasha's dark world. It was also sad that he could only bring the boy out at night once a week except the week of the new moon. Had anyone have found out that the child turned human on that night, Inuyasha would have been dead before he even reached his toddler years. Not even the nursemaids had known as they had refused to even feed the child unless Pancho himself was there to watch them do so under threat of reporting their disobedience to Lord InuTaisho. He did not know if it would do much good, though, seeing as their lord had not even inquired about the child since his presence at the birth. The healer was brought out of his musings when one of the palace guards called his attention. He looked back at Inuyasha and saw that he was having a good time. He would not ruin that; Inuyasha would be fine on his own for a little bit.

Inuyasha was caught up in a game of tag with the moths in the garden. His haired shined with a pale light as the beams of the full moon rained down upon him as he ran through the illuminated paths of the garden. He was trying to hide from his smaller, winged companions as he heard them softly counting together in unison. He had hidden behind a sakura tree and was diligently watching out for his furry bodied friends when he felt tiny feet on the back of one of his silky ears. Inuyasha giggled before reaching up and allowing the moth to settle in his hand. The other moths that had been looking for him gathered around him as well before Inuyasha told them to hide and he began to count as the moths dispersed from him. When he reached thirty, Inuyasha moved along the garden paths looking for each of his seven friends.

Inuyasha had his sights set on the last of his friends who had decided to hide amongst plain sight. The little gray moth was sitting docilely in the middle of the garden path and Inuyasha was just getting ready to pounce. After making sure that his little friend was completely unaware of his presence, Inuyasha leaped over the small bush he had been hiding behind and cupped his hands around the small insect that had been perched innocently upon the ground. While Inuyasha was reveling in his victory of having found them all, he was completely unaware of another presence on the path until said presence tripped over his kneeling form. Inuyasha gasped when he saw who the presence was that had tripped over him and then began to tremble in fear. He was really in for it.

InuTaisho had finally had the palace opened to visitors, the dark curtains taken down, and the portrait of his mate was finally moved into the Hall of Ancestors. The problem that he had to face currently was that he needed a new mate and one that would be strong enough physically and spiritually to give him a child. The main problem within the larger problem was that every demoness and submissive male that had offered themselves or been offered did not even have a tenth of the strength and youki that his first mate Raja had had. The absence of a mate and child had the council growing restless and some were plotting to have themselves promoted to the throne when it was time for him to step down within the next seven millennia or so. InuTaisho was rudely pulled from his musings when he tripped over something. He managed to keep himself from face planting in the dirt and rolled over to what it was that he had stumbled over only to find out that it was a person.

It took the DaiYoukai a moment to recall where he had seen the puppy eared hanyou as well as recall why the scent was familiar to him. It was the bastard that had been born of that ningen hime a while back. Beyond that, InuTaisho felt and recognized something that he had been looking for in the past three months that the palace had been reopened. He mentally smacked himself that he had not thought of the idea himself sooner. It would have saved him a lot of trouble. Inuyasha. The boy that had been born of his own seed should, whether half human or not, be strong enough spiritually to become impregnated and sustain the child for the full term. Deciding to test this theory and worry about the physical requirements after, the larger demon pushed his aura outwards to lap at Inuyasha's own.

Inuyasha whimpered as the powerful youki of the white inu king touched his own. It caused his shivering to become more pronounced while his own aura tried to reach out to mingle with the addictive, more powerful youki. It pulled back before Inuyasha's youki could do anything more than slide along the other energy. He let out another pitiful whimper before becoming silent as he kept his eyes on the ground and his body bowed toward the higher ranked demon. InuTaisho growled his pleasure at the show of such complete submission in his presence and he knew that the little bastard would finally be good for something. Without a word, the DaiYoukai grabbed the small boy by the arm and began to lead him back into the palace and to his own rooms. He would have to wait for another year before he could make the boy his mate and impregnate him, but he did not want the half-breed to disappear when he seemed to be the only one that met the requirements needed to bear him an heir.

Pancho returned outside in time to see Lord InuTaisho dragging his charge in the direction of the palace. The healer became worried at the thought of what the demon would do to his charge and what his charge had done to deserve such obviously rough treatment from the Lord of the Western Lands. He quickly followed after the two to see what exactly his charge had done and hopefully divert disaster as Inuyasha had already been through enough. When he caught up with them, Pancho begged his lord to tell him what Inuyasha did against him and that he would punish the boy properly, if allowed. InuTaisho looked at the healer before motioning him to follow without saying a word. Pancho fell in step behind his frightened charge and his lord whom seemed disturbingly calm about the entire situation.

Pancho had been surprised and overtly worried when his lord had finally confessed what he had wanted Inuyasha for. He was not surprised, however, when he was entrusted with improving Inuyasha's health for the mating and impregnating. That had been almost a year ago and Inuyasha's health had steadily improved with regular, non-poisoned meals; time in the sun, though only in the Western Lord's private gardens; and a steady regiment of supplements to his normal diet. Even with all of that, Inuyasha would never reach the height or mass that he could have potentially had due to the years of abuse. He was still abnormally strong for a hanyou, though, and that regarded both his physical nature as well as his youki.

* * *

Inuyasha was absolutely terrified of everything that he was going to be expected to do within the coming month. He had been brought to his current room that could only be accessed through Lord InuTaisho's rooms. There was no other entrance or exit and Inuyasha was only allowed to leave when he was escorted by either Pancho for garden visits or InuTaisho himself wanted to see him. The only time when InuTaisho wanted anything to do with him was when he was excusing Inuyasha from his rooms during the night before, of, and after the new moon. He said that Inuyasha's scent during that time was absolutely repulsive and almost reminded him of the human that had bore him. Inuyasha never replied as he was afraid of what his lord would do to him if he told him the reason why his scent so closely resembled birth mothers during that time. It was also during the past year that Inuyasha's connection with Mother Nature intensified to the point that he could see and feel her physical representation whenever he wanted to talk with her or just needed her comfort. He had even gotten so close to her that he referred to her as Mother considering his had never wanted him in the first place. She was the only one beside Pancho to show him any type of affection or care. It was for that reason that she was holding him close to her bosom in the last hours before the mating season officially began.

"I'm scared Mother! I don't want to be his mate. I don't want to bear his children. I don't want to _be here_. I want to live with you and go wherever you go. I don't want to be stuck here anymore. No one wants me around anyway and yet they won't let me leave. Can't you just take me with you, please?" Inuyasha cried into her arms. He hugged her tighter as he released all of the tension, grief, and fear at the thought of what he was going to have to do with the demon that should have been a father to him. It was not uncommon for parents to take their children as mates, but it did not happen often as sibling pairings were more common.

"You will be alright child. Though times may be hard now and for some years to come it will get better and you will be the one to bring about the change. You must be strong my little one as this is the path you were destined to take. I will always be here to guide and care for you. Just do not hesitate to call on me." She replied. She kissed him on the forehead and told him to rest as the time for the season to begin was almost near. Inuyasha did as she asked and slowly slipped into a fitful rest. He would trust in her words because she had never lied to him before and it was the only comfort that he had left. He just hoped that he was as strong as she believed him to be because he was already so sick of the world he lived in; he did not know how much more it would take before he finally lost all hope within himself.

_**A/N: I have always seen Inuyasha being forced to mate Kouga or Sesshoumaru, but I have never seen one where he had been forced to take a submissive position to his father. Please REVIEW!**_

**_Nama_**


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Love Me Love Me Not

Chapter: Mating and Expecting

Date: July 8, 2010

InuTaisho unlocked the door in his rooms that lead the private mate quarters. Its original purpose was to punish disobedient submissive mates by isolating them from the outside world as only the current DaiYoukai's youki could release the lock while the palace healer had a key. It was time for him to take his new mate and hope that they were blessed with a child during the first mating. He was impatient to wait another fifty years for the heat that would drive him to have to mate with his rightful mate. He did not plan to touch the hanyou's body unless it was his instincts during that primitive time that were forcing him to do so and because only then did the hanyou have the highest chance for being impregnated.

He saw the half-breed sleeping on top of the blankets that covered the raised futon and almost felt a moment of a _sympathetic_ emotion before he ruthlessly squashed it. As long as the brat did as he was bid and became impregnated with his heir, he could sleep for the next eternity for all InuTaisho cared. He did not enter the room, but called the hanyou to come to him so that he could fulfill his duty. He was pleased to note that the boy was properly fearful and submissively obedient that even when not fully awake he followed his lord's commands without hesitation. InuTaisho sneered at the lack luster presentation of himself, but he dismissed it as it would become a moot point in a couple of minutes. However, when Inuyasha left the rooms after the season he would have to have an armed escort as well as in a constant state of presentable appearance. It would not do to have anything happen to the belly that would hold his pup nor would it be proper to present Inuyasha as his mate when in a state of undress. The DaiYoukai was pulled from his contemplative thoughts by the appearance of the half-breed at his side. He could feel his heat approaching faster than ever as the boy's fertile scent became stronger with his proximity.

* * *

Inuyasha was frightened by the prospect of what he was being ordered to do for his lord. Not only did what he was to become scare him, so did the thought of having to have sex with the great demon while he was in his most primitive state. Inuyasha, over his many years of life, had come to associate touch with nothing but pain and he knew that he should expect no different or worse when it came to sex. Inuyasha followed the Lord of the Western Lands into his rooms and into his private chambers where they would spend the next week trying to impregnate him after the initial mating. Inuyasha stared at the grand settings that were the white inu king's private sleeping chamber.

Dominating the center of the room was a large raised futon that could probably fit at least ten full grown demon Alphas with plenty of knee and elbow room. The futon was a vast see of satin and silk with small and large pillows that covered the entire top half while stacked four high. To the left of the bed, the farthest side of the room from the door was a large maple wardrobe that was place next to a matching large chest that looked like it should have been a desk instead. Further down the wall from the bed and the massive wooden structures built to carry clothing, there was a small sitting area that was placed in front of a large fireplace. There two boar hide, high backed chairs sitting in front of the fire with a small, rounded, dark wood table that sat between them. On the wall closest to them was another door that most likely led to the bathing chambers/area for relieving one's self. There was also a desk and worn looking, matching chair that sat on the opposite side of the door. The desk was covered in documents that were too sensitive to leave in the DaiYoukai casual study.

InuTaisho broke Inuyasha out of his examination of the room by guiding the submissive into the room firmly by the shoulder. Inuyasha startled but did not resist as he was lead toward the massive array of bedding and subsequently stripped bare until he was completely exposed to his future mate. Inuyasha had to fight himself to keep from trying to cover himself with his hands as he knew that would only anger the larger demon before him. InuTaisho examined his beta to be with critical eyes. He was surprised, though nothing appeared on his face, that the barely two century old hanyou was covered in scars of all types. There were marks on his wrists that spoke of attempted self-termination and others that seemed to be inflicted by other means that he could only assume was the result of botched assassinations. As the demon looked he felt another unwanted emotion toward the hanyou try to surface be he stepped on it mercilessly and began to remove his own armor before stripping himself of the clothing that was underneath. He could smell the brat's fear increase with every piece of clothing that he removed and that darker side of himself, the true demon within relished the knowledge the small figure was so afraid of him. He gave a feral grin showing sharp canines before stalking toward his mate-to-be like he would a prey of the forest outside the palace walls.

Inuyasha shivered with uncontrollable fear as he saw the look in the other's eyes as well as the way the older demon stalked after him as he attempted to back away. The demon lord followed Inuyasha step for step as the hanyou's body reacted instinctively by attempting a hastier a retreat that brought him right to the edge of the bed and the little half inus momentum caused him to stumble right into the soft bedding. InuTaisho took his given opportunity and pounced on the small, petite figure. His eyes turning demon red, the iris becoming dilated with lust and turning to the color of the sky, in mid-pounce. The season had officially started and the DaiYoukai was more than ready. He pinned the slight body beneath him to the bed, loving how the small body attempted to struggle against him as the hanyou's instincts began to come to the fore. Inuyasha bit, kicked, scratched, and punched at the much larger demon while InuTaisho took with ease. He would let the little one tire himself out before he began taking what was rightfully his.

The little hanyou surprised him with how much stamina he had in fighting him. It excited him beyond measure and he gave up his plan to wait out the half-breed. He would relish forcing the smaller male to submit to him in every possible way before the season was over. InuTaisho growled low in his throat at the struggling submissive underneath him before purring in pleasure as the young one ceased his actions. His thrill was ruined quickly because Inuyasha did not desist for long and was soon fighting the other once more. Another growl, louder, harsher than the one before escaped the DaiYoukai's mouth at the obvious disobedience before large, strong hands grabbed the weaker male and harshly flipped Inuyasha onto his belly. Inuyasha squirmed, trying his best to get out of firm, brutal grasp.

Nothing worked, as Inuyasha was tightly pinned beneath the larger body of his father. InuTaisho gave a feral grin as he moved his hands from Inuyasha's upper body to the frantically wiggling hips just beneath his own searching pelvis. He held Inuyasha's hips still as he began to line himself up with the tight entrance that was safeguarded by two pert, pale globes of rounded flesh. When his tip brushed across the small hole, he stopped for a brief moment before he ripped into the sensitive flesh. Inuyasha howled with the painful entrance even with the lubrication that all submissives make. InuTaisho did not wait for Inuyasha to become accustomed to his girth before he began to pound into the hot, slick orifice. He growled at the tight walls that clung to his length every time he pulled out and grunted with every thrust that he had to force back into the tiny opening. Inuyasha lay in tears underneath the larger male as his fear came true, despite the fact that he had an erection; that was just the heat caused by the season. Every thrust had Inuyasha crying out in pain and his tears coming faster and faster just like the bone jarring thrusts into his body.

InuTaisho could feel his end coming and his knot forming. He began to impale the smaller male onto his turgid length in faster, harder, deeper pumps until he finally had to force his knot into the small entrance, ripping his way through before letting go a mighty roar as he began to seed his bastard son. As his release burned through his veins, InuTaisho's fangs extended and punctured the back of his son's neck where it met his shoulder. Inuyasha had gone hoarse by the time his father began to show signs of release and could only whimper his displeasure as the man began to become larger and larger within him. With the last thrust being forced inside his body with demonic force, Inuyasha managed another scream at the cost of his throat tearing and blood spewing from his lips. Once Inuyasha whimpered his way through the pain of the bite, he fell unconscious due to the pain of his ordeal. It was no more than an hour later, however, when he was being roused from his place of peace of safety to satisfy his new mate once more.

* * *

Inuyasha was overjoyed at the fact that the season had finally ended, but upsettingly he would not be leaving his mate's bed as he had thought when the season was over for the simple reason that he physically could not. The month of fulfilling his mate's lustful desires had left Inuyasha's backside in a terrible state from the constant rutting. It was also a good thing that he had not turned human during the season or he was sure that his father would have killed him outright, but his mother had said that his demon instincts would be at the fore so he would not have had to worry about that. Inuyasha was pulled from his musings as Pancho began to speak to him again while still examining his tortured anus and putting salves onto the abused skin.

"You're beginning to heal very well, but you will not be able to move on your own or be able to relieve that bodily function for another two weeks. I will give you potion for the pain and to help liquidate all foods that enter your system and put a block on your anus. You may fill full for the next month or so, but that should go away once you're free to begin relieving your bowels again. Alright?"

"I understand, Panny." Inuyasha replied hoarsely. His throat and voice were having an easier time healing than his anus just so long as he did not talk often or too much. Pancho smiled softly at him and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead before leaving. Inuyasha knew what the man had left out in his explanation. The true reason Inuyasha was not going to move for the next two weeks was because his human night was approaching quickly and that would digress some of his progress and it would take that long before the healer could confirm or negate the possible existence of a child within Inuyasha's womb. The hanyou did not know whether he wanted there to be one or not. On one hand it would have his mate leave him be, to a certain extent, on the other, his mate would be furious with Inuyasha's inability to get pregnant and would probably be plotting his demise so that he could get another mate that would be able to do what Inuyasha had failed to. He remembered the failed pregnancy of InuTaisho's last mate and how desperate the inu was for an heir and he knew that such a failure on his part would be absolutely unacceptable. Inuyasha did not know what he wanted, but he hoped that whichever way the blade fell, he would be left in peace because that is all he really wanted.

_**A/N: Thank you dashllee for pointing out that I had not made it clear about Inuyasha's true size and I have addressed that in the next chapter. Please keep reviewing and giving feedback.**_

**_Nama_**


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Love Me Love Me Not

Chapter: Pregnancy and Dark Thoughts

Date: July 15, 2010

Healer Pancho was checking up on his charge after the two week deadline had passed and was happy with the results of Inuyasha's healing. The little hanyou was completely restored and would no longer require daily applications of salve to help his healing. It was time to address a new concern; however, Pancho had Inuyasha roll onto his back so that he could examine the small half demon's stomach for any sign that the previous mating season had had any success. His eyebrows scrunched in concentration before they smoothed and he looked at Inuyasha with worry, wondering how the young one would take the news.

"Congratulations Inuyasha. You are with child. Your mate will be very pleased." Pancho stated softly. He watched Inuyasha carefully for any stressed or anxious reactions, but he was met with calm eyes that shook his core. There was something unsettling with that look.

"Is there something wrong Inuyasha?" Pancho asked, but Inuyasha denied it with a shake of his head. Pancho decided to wait until the young one came to him with his thoughts.

"Okay, then. I want you to eat more and put on a little more weight before you start to round in the coming months as the child feeds off you before and for sometime after it is born. The extra weight will help to keep the child from starving you because of your small size. You must allow Lord InuTaisho to exchange youki with you and bathe the child in his essence for both of your health. I will also be checking up on you once a week because of your small size, I want to be sure that you will be able to birth the child naturally." Inuyasha nodded dully as his eyes revealed that same calm expression.

Pancho really was worried for Inuyasha's size because the adolescent was smaller than most full grown humans for his age. At Inuyasha's current age, he should have reached his full height of at least 18 hands but he was only 15.5 hands. Pancho was concerned that due to Inuyasha being so small that his hips would not grow wide enough to give birth to the child at full term in a year. He would also have to speak to his lord about being more gentle when it came to being intimate with his mate because he knew very well from all of the lord's lovers that he had to treat that the demon was well proportioned to his height of almost 23 hands. He really did not want anything to happen to Inuyasha nor the child that Inuyasha carried within his small body. That would have to wait until Inuyasha had the chance to tell Lord InuTaisho that he was with child.

Inuyasha lay in the bed for almost an hour after Pancho had left before he was finally able to force his body to move. He got up and moved to the window seat that overlooked the private gardens that he had not seen in almost two months and probably would not see for quite some time due to the situation that was currently at hand. While Inuyasha was lost in his thoughts, he did not notice that he was being watched by the very demon lord that was occupying his thoughts. InuTaisho just looked at the bastard fate had left him with. He could not possibly imagine what he had done to deserve such and unfairness and it angered him. That hanyou angered him merely by existing and having been born of a _ningen _when his own _mate_ had not been able to bear him an heir. That was not mentioning that when the new moon was around, the boy's stench became absolutely unbearable. As his anger began to reach new heights the longer he looked at what was now his mate, his aura began to leak out and startled the hanyou from his daydreams. Inuyasha immediately stood from his seat and bowed to the lord of the palace and the king of inus.

"H-h-healer P-pancho left g-g-gooood newsss." Inuyasha stuttered. It was something that Pancho had stopped him from doing when he had taken him under his wing all of those years ago. It had steadily been coming back with every encounter that Inuyasha had with the demon that had sired him.

"What news is that half-breed?" Inuyasha shivered at the sheer hatred in the tone and the sneer upon his alpha's face.

"I-I-I am wi-with ch-chi-child." Inuyasha rang his hands nervously as he looked anywhere but at his alpha. InuTaisho was highly pleased with the new development and bade the hanyou closer. He wanted to scent it for himself and as soon as the little figure was close enough, the DaiYoukai grabbed the small frame and tossed it onto the large bed in the sweet of rooms. Inuyasha let out a surprised squeak of fear but remained motionless on the bed to let the demon lord do what he pleased. InuTaisho opened Inuyasha's top and drove his nose into the smaller's stomach. He began to inhale deeply, analyzing the different scents that emanated from Inuayasha's body. It was true and the sweetened scent that marked Inuyasha was pregnant was beginning to start a fire in his loins. He pulled back quickly and left the mutt there as he had other duties to attend to. When he left the rooms, he made sure to seal it off with his youki so that none could gain entrance except him and Inuyasha could not leave.

* * *

Inuyasha sighed as he rubbed his quickly growing abdomen. It was the final two months of his thirteen month pregnancy and he had to admit that he had cabin fever. He was not even allowed to visit the private gardens simply because his mate wanted to make sure that nothing happened to the unborn child. The closest Inuyasha had been able to get to fresh air had been the open window. Even that had to be supervised by his mate to ensure that Inuyasha, in his words, "…do something stupid, like fall over and out the damn thing." It was terrible and it made Inuyasha feel as though he was not capable of being a good mother, that he was already being condemned as an exact replica of his own biological mother. It just broke the little hanyou that little bit more and Inuyasha was once again asking himself why he had made that promise to Pancho and Mother all those years ago. It he had not, he would have been long gone from his place of imprisonment.

**A/N: Short, I know, but if I had put anymore in this chapter it would have come out awkward because it wouldn't flow the way I wanted it to. Please continue to review and review.**

**Nama**


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Love Me Love Me Not

Chapter: Maybe A Little Better

Date: July 25, 2010

The entire palace was on edge as the hanyou toiled through the process known as giving birth. The little half-breed mutt had survived far stronger than Lady Raja had, but there was still one factor that would determine whether or not they would have any inkling of respect for the thing that should not have been born. The child that the hanyou was birthing would be either full demon or half demon and depending upon what the child was would determine whether or not the hanyou was actually worth anything in their eyes. It might raise the thing to the level of dirt in their eyes or maybe just a brood mare. More howls rang through the palace as the hanyou fought to push the child out of his body until finally a new cry rang throughout the walls of the palace.

"It's a healthy, demon male pup, Lord InuTaisho," Healer Pancho announced happily. He had been worried what would happen if the child had turned out to be anything less than a full demon. However, Lord InuTaisho was so happy with the turn of events and having an heir that he allowed Inuyasha to name the child.

"His name should be Sesshoumaru." That was all the half demon was able to say before exhaustion took over. Healer Pancho cleaned the child and allowed his father to hold him while Inuyasha was being cleaned and put to proper rights. The infant fussed and gave tiny yips that spoke of its hunger until he was settled with the resting Inuyasha. A small touch to the child's cheek led the fussing mouth to the nipple that had what he needed. The pup known as Sesshoumaru found the nipple and latched on as though starving before suckling strongly. When the pup had finished, InuTaisho took the pup and lightly patted his back until he heard the burp from the currently satisfied infant before laying him back with his mother. For the proper growth of his child, Sesshoumaru would have to spend the next decade almost permanently attached to Inuyasha's side. As much as that bothered him, he wanted his child to grow up to be strong and being with the bastard would ensure that.

* * *

Inuyasha was so happy, the happiest he had been in his many years of life. Sesshoumaru was already five years old and such a cold child, but he loved Inuyasha and Inuyasha loved being a mother to him. Inuyasha loved Sesshoumaru with everything he had and was trying to teach Sesshoumaru to do the same. As much as he was hated for being what he was by both species, he wanted his son to love all creatures no matter what they were or how society deemed them to be treated. He wanted Sesshoumaru to have his own thoughts that were touched with love rather than touched with hate. He could see that it was working because Sesshoumaru was a loving demon, even if it was only to Inuyasha and InuTaisho. That was the thing that worried Inuyasha as well. As soon as Sesshoumaru reached the age of ten years, most of his day would be spent training with his father in the ways of the DaiYoukai and Inuyasha was afraid that despite all the love that Inuyasha gave Sesshoumaru and would continue to give his son, no matter what, that Sesshoumaru would take the same stand as his father. That was Inuyasha's deepest fear.

Inuyasha was brought out of his musings by the sound of running feet coming closer. It was his human night and he knew that the only person that would be coming to his room at such a time was his son. His mate tried to keep Sesshoumaru away during this time, but the little youkai refused to allow it to happen and 'snuck' into his mother's room every month. Inuyasha was happy about that, that his little boy wanted to protect him, but he also made Sesshoumaru promise not to tell his father about the fact that he could turn human on the night of the new moon. Sesshoumaru opened the door as quietly as his short stature would allow before walking in and closing the door with more than a soft click. Inuyasha giggled at the boy's attempts to be quiet while sneaking to visit his mother, but Inuyasha knew that InuTaisho knew. Sesshoumaru liked the routine though and Inuyasha wanted his little boy to be happy, so he kept up the charade for the sake of his son's smile every time he walked through the door without his fathering 'catching' him. Inuyasha returned the smile with one of his own, one of the few genuine smiles that he had ever shown.

"Mommy?"

"Yes my little prince?" Sesshoumaru pouted.

"I's no lil! Sleep time. Proect Mommy, I's pwomise." Inuyasha gathered his son into his arms while giving an affirmative sound before laying both of them down upon his bed. He nuzzled the small child's hair while taking in the scent that only belonged to his baby. Inuyasha gave a sad smile as he cherished the time he had with his son while his son remained untainted by the prejudices of the outside world. However, day by day, Inuyasha could see that his love and teaching to Sesshoumaru was doing nothing against the way his son's heart was heading. He could see it in the way Sesshoumaru treated looked upon the human representatives and Inuyasha could tell that it was only a matter of time before that look was turned upon him. The human pulled the small demon as close as was safely possible and contented himself with the time he had left.

* * *

"Would you like me to help style your hair for your presentation, Sesshoumaru?" Inuyasha asked as he picked up the brush and started to lightly brush his son's hair. Inuyasha never saw it coming. His one hundred year old son, his Sesshoumaru, had just hit him and it was not without quite a bit of power behind it. The brush went flying from Inuyasha's hand as he was thrown across the room from the force of the hit to his abdomen. Inuyasha thought he heard some of his ribs break as well before he hit his head on the wall when he impacted with it. Inuyasha slowly slid to the floor while holding back the blood that had come up from the harsh treatment.

"I never gave you permission to touch me, hanyou!" Sesshoumaru growled. Inuyasha whimpered before nodding furiously and quickly exiting his son's room.

Inuyasha's first stop after his son's room was Pancho's private quarters. There were a lot of injuries he could heal on his own, but wrapping his own ribs would be a bit difficult for him. Somewhere along the way, Inuyasha stopped to lose the mouthful of blood that he had refused to spit out in front of his son. As much as Sesshoumaru may follow in his father footsteps, Inuyasha was his mother and he would never allow his child to see such fallacies with him. As a mother, he had to protect his child, even if he was protecting Sesshoumaru from seeing the harm that he had inflicted on his own parent. Inuyasha finally arrived at Pancho's quarters where the healer immediately began to diagnose and treat his injuries. Pancho had learned long ago not to ask questions about where the numerous injuries came from because Inuyasha never answered.

"You really shouldn't attend the ceremony in this condition, Inuyasha. I am sure if I explained things to Lord InuTaisho, you would be excused."

"No. This is Sesshoumaru's day and he will have it with me present as it is supposed to be and I have to be there to watch over Tessa and Akikko."

"I seriously doubt you will be able to handle the twins in your condition. I mean they are twenty years old now and just as rambunctious as any young children should be."

"I'm going, Pancho. I have to or I would never forgive myself for breaking the promise I made to him when he was little." Pancho sighed, but he gave up and decided that it was one battle that he was just not going to win.

"Alright, but just take it easy afterwards. Okay, Inuyasha?" Inuyasha gave a parody of a smile before exiting the room to get dressed for the heir of the Western Lands Presentation Ceremony. Pancho watched the hanyou go with a feeling a dread. Something dark was looming on the horizon and he had a feeling it would happen during that ceremony. He could only hope that no one got hurt.

**_A/N: I know that you probably hate me at the moment and probably will for another chapter or so, but bear with it. Things are going to take an interesting turn pretty soon and I refuse to use cliches to get my point across. I am trying for a completely original plot around this character pairing. Please, please, please, please continue to REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW! (Sorry that this chapter was late)._**

**_Nama_**


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Love Me Love Me Not

Chapter: Eye Opener

Date: August 3, 2010

Inuyasha stood complacently between his mate and his oldest son, Sesshoumaru. The twins were behaving for once; InuTaisho looked proud and tall while Sesshoumaru was a blank and neutral faced as ever. However, Inuyasha was uneasy about the whole affair. There was something wrong with the suddenly smiling council members whom had been cocky when it looked as if InuTaisho would not get an heir and then angry when Sesshoumaru, then the twins were born. It did not make sense to Inuyasha and he kept his guard up despite the relaxed states of his mate and children. Something was off; he could feel it in his bones.

The ceremony went on calmly until it was time for the crowd to move back from the family so that the Lord of the Western Lands could give the rites and present Sesshoumaru as heir to the Western Lands. It was only a flash in Inuyasha's eye and he was moving before he even really thought about it. His small, injured body slammed a surprised Sesshoumaru out of the way and landing in front of the Lord InuTaisho just in time to be hit with several darts right in the upper center of his chest. Inuyasha let out a strangled gasp as blood spattered from his lips before he collapsed to the ground in a fit of convulsions.

Inuyasha's skin began to turn pale as his arteries and veins began to turn black against his flesh. His eyes rolled to the back of his head and more blood, also turned black, began to flow in a steady stream from his mouth. The entire was in an uproar as InuTaisho ordered the assassin caught, Sesshoumaru had Healer Pancho sent for immediately, and the twins' nursemaids were ordered to follow out some of the guard to the twin's rooms for their safety. Healer Pancho arrived just as Inuyasha's still convulsing body was moved to a secluded area next to the ceremonial hall. Pancho took one look at Inuyasha and started to pray. He recognized the poison and there was no cure for it. If it had hit Inuyasha while he was still human, it would have been metabolized out of his system immediately, but in his hanyou form it could kill him, though not as fast as if he was a full inu demon.

"What are you doing Healer? Heal him!" Sesshoumaru was up in arms. His mother was dying and the healer was just sitting there with his hands pressed to his chest and his eyes closed.

"There is nothing I can do against this. It is completely up to Inuyasha-sama whether or not he survives the effects." Just as Pancho finished talking, another presence made itself known within the antechamber. It smelled of damp earth after a hard rain and spring blossoms.

"M-mo-moth…er…d-don't," Inuyasha's whisper just barely carried along the in the room. All heads turned toward the woman that had appeared, seemingly from thin air. Her hair was green and short, her eyes the color of the pinkest sakura blossom, and her cherry tinted lips were set in the firmest of frowns. She turned icy eyes towards each person in the room before turning her coldest glare upon the Lord of the Western Lands.

"I gave you a precious gift, one that you begged me for, because you are my most devoted and this is how you repay me for my gift?" The woman asked in eerily calm outrage. InuTaisho looked as though he had been slapped while Sesshoumaru and Pancho were stumped with confusion as to what the woman was talking about.

"Wha…what?" InuTaisho was just as confused as the others. What gift had she given him? If it was his children, he treated them as was their stations as the heir and princes of the Western Lands. The woman glared before walking over to the hanyou that had finally gone still and gold eyes had become glazed with approaching death. She reached down with gentle, loving fingers and pulled free the poison tipped darts from Inuyasha's chest. With those same fingers, she traced the holes left behind and the entire room watched in awe as the black that had riddled Inuyasha's blood vessels began to recede. After a few moments, Inuyasha's breathing returned somewhat normal and Pancho immediately moved in and opened the haori and kimono that covered the small half inu's chest. The woman again frowned as she brushed the healer's hands away before tracing the ribs and Inuyasha's breathing began to even into its natural rhythm.

"He'll sleep for a few days to regain his energy from the near death experience. Take care of him while I deal with other matters." The woman did not ask, she demanded and Pancho knew that he could not go against her word. He carried Inuyasha out of the room himself and to the infirmary near his quarters. She turned back to InuTaisho and Sesshoumaru who were still standing dumbstruck within the small antechamber.

"Answer me InuTaisho of the Shiro Inus! Is this how you repay me for the gift that I had permitted you?" Though her voice was no louder than a whisper, it echoed menacingly around the room.

"You mean that bastard?" InuTaisho asked incredulously. She growled in response to his answer.

"Do you mean Inuyasha? If so, then yes. However else would you have gained your current children without Inuyasha? It was my blessing that allowed Inuyasha to survive within that bitch. I knew that he would face opposition and I knew that you would not be thrilled with the idea of taking him as your mate, but I had believed that Inuyasha could show you that strength is not solely dependent upon the status of your blood. Instead, I have sent my most favored child to his near death. I cannot undo what has already come to pass, but I assure you that from this moment forward, my child will not be left unsupervised in your care. Henceforth, until you have learned from your mistakes and can prove to me that you are worthy of my child, his womb is locked and shall be watched over by sun and moon." The woman turned to the younger demon that stood to the left of InuTaisho. "How dare you choose your pride over your mother and lay harm upon his person! For the next century, you shall suffer alongside him in his transformation. When the moon disappears from the night sky, you will be forced to become the dog that you are and to lay with the fleas that you have associated yourself with." The woman promptly disappeared while leaving two reeling inus in her wake. Mother Nature was not a woman that you associated with lightly and they had greatly displeased her.

* * *

Sesshoumaru was finally alone after the fiasco of the Presentation Ceremony. He lay on his back in his bed in his own rooms. His mind was turning the events of the day over and over again, looking at the information from different angles each time. He came to the same conclusion each time; he had abandoned his mother, had hurt his mother, had harmed his mother when the hanyou that had birthed him had done nothing but love him unconditionally. It was then that a memory came to him that he had pushed down for almost seventy years.

"_Mommy?"_

"_Yes my little prince?" _

"_I's no lil! Sleep time. Proect Mommy, I's pwomise."_

Sesshoumaru felt something on his face and lifted his hand to remove it. He looked down to see what it was and was surprised to see that it was the clear liquid of tears. He was crying because he had broken his promise and even more, he had become a person that his mother had needed protecting from. Even his younger siblings were cruel to their mother; always playing horrible, and often time dangerous pranks that had put him into the infirmary each time. Despite all of that, their mother had thrown away his own life for them. Sesshoumaru rose from his bed and slipped out of his rooms quietly. He traveled down well remembered hallways until he reached the infirmary. He promised himself that he was only going to take a quick look.

Sesshoumaru felt something weird in his chest as he stared upon the small figure that seemed almost lost in the bed. Inuyasha had always looked small and unimposing, sticking to the background, but in that sterile white setting, it was worse. It looked as though his mother would be swallowed up and lost within what would otherwise be a small bed. Sesshoumaru felt that same strange twinge in his chest before he had to look away, before he had to leave because he just could not….

* * *

InuTaisho sat in his study thinking over all that had occurred during the day, especially what Mother Nature had told him. His thoughts were just a jumbled mess as he was angry that she had done something so underhanded, yet there was another, smaller side of himself that had he had been squashing since the initial mating that said that she was right. His behavior had been atrocious; however he had kept up the reputation and image that he had always held even if it had cost him the normal emotional connection with his mate. Inuyasha was so afraid of him that the smaller demon would do everything in his power to make sure that he was neither seen nor heard by him unless it was mating season. InuTaisho did not know why that thought bothered, but it did so with alarming clarity. With a sigh, the DaiYoukai decided to worry about such matters in the morning when he had rested. He would look upon it with fresh eyes, but for the moment, he was so exhausted that his mind was running in meaningless circles.

"Kami-sama, help me."

_**A/N: Saddening, I know and it's gonna get worse before it gets better. Sesshoumaru has seen the error of his ways, but will he be able to change? What about InuTaisho? Will he see, will he want to see? Will he change at all or will it take something more to open his eyes? Please REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW to find out!**_

**_Cheers!_**

**_Nama_**


	8. Chapter 8

Title: Love Me Love Me Not

Chapter: Inuyasha's Choice

Date: August 10, 2010

Inuyasha had been awake for almost an hour, but no one had been in to check on him. He was grateful and also a bit disappointed, however the solitude would work in his favor. He had wanted to die doing something useful, but Mother had taken that from him. He did not know how she expected him to suffer anymore for those that hated him and turned his children against him. Inuyasha decided it was time that he once again took matters into his own hands and instead of attempting death, which was something that Mother could thwart as long as her plans did not call for a fated death, he was going to seal himself away. If he did that, no one would be able to interfere and he would finally have the peace that he had always prayed for but never received.

Inuyasha quietly got up from the infirmary bed and snuck out of the workroom into the hallway. He quickly and stealthily made his way through the vast hallways until he reached the hidden passage that led to the small forest of trees next to the far south and west walls. He did not care that he was undressed, due to the sensitive nature of his skin as his body dealt with the remaining side effects of the poison, because it would not matter soon. Inuyasha emerged within the heart of the forest, in front of the largest tree. Inuyasha touched the demon tree softly to wake it from its slumber in order to ask him for a favor.

"Who awakens me?" The voice was hoarse and gravelly, but it held the many sides of nature all at once. Inuyasha looked the tree straight in its revealed eyes.

"My name is Inuyasha and I come asking for a favor without the knowledge of Mother." The demon face that had appeared on the tree looked shocked at the young hanyou's reply.

"Why does one such as yourself seek such without the knowledge of the Great Mistress?"

"I am broken, I am tired, and I wish for death. This is my last resort or I will go insane and have to be put down." The tree studied the small youth in front of him and could not help but agree to listen to the boy's request. Those scars and the deadness in the child's eyes spoke sharply on his behalf.

"What is your request?"

"I want to be sealed away in the one place that has never judged me for what I am. I want to be able to still watch over my children without burdening them with my presence. I want to find the peace that has been denied to me here. Will you help me?" Inuyasha was prepared to sincerely beg if the tree demon refused his request. He could not live the way he had been and his children were old enough to no longer need him; in fact, they had made their displeasure of his presence in their lives easily and vocally known.

"Very well, step closer child and place both palms upon my bark. Your wish shall be granted. Until such a time when your presence is accepted and your heart will be cared for, sleep within the vines, lay your head to rest upon the boughs, and merge your spirit with the calmness of the running streams. Envision life as it goes on and surrender your own, rest your spirit and calm your mind. Give your body to the Great Mistress so that she may preserve you as you take guidance and comfort within the sweet embrace of the very essence of Nature."

While the tree demon wove the spell with his words, Inuyasha began to sink into the trunk of the tree until nothing more could be seen of him before he body began to reappear once more further up the tree. Inuyasha's body was held to the tree by vines that held his wrists captive above a bowed head, wrapped about his chest and groin as though he were female, and bound his ankles together. His silver hair was loose with small vines running through it and those vines held small flower buds that would only bloom when it was time for the young one to begin the process of coming back to the feudal era. With his task done, the ancient tree once more retreated into its own sleep. It had to prepare for the chaos and anger that was sure to ensue at the hanyou appearance in the forest and the current status of the half inu.

* * *

Healer Pancho was in a panic as he hurried down the many corridors of the Western Palace. Consort Inuyasha had disappeared from his infirmary the night before and Pancho had looked everywhere for the half demon but there was no clue as to Inuyasha's whereabouts. It was strange because there was no scent trail which meant that Inuyasha planned this or that someone had 'helped' the mate of InuTaisho to disappear. Pancho swallowed hard as he finally reached the door of his lord's study. He knocked lightly and awaited permission to enter. It was a few moments; to the point he thought his lord might not have heard him the first time, when he heard the gruff voice.

"Enter." Pancho entered nervously as he began to fidget. Both InuTaisho and Sesshoumaru were in the study and his task was made that much harder.

"Speak healer. What have you disturbed us for?" Pancho's scent spiked sharply with fear as he swallowed another lump in his throat.

"Consort Inuyasha has disappeared, my lord."

"…."

"WHAT?" InuTaisho was pissed. The healer had said that Inuyasha was still in a healing sleep and would not rise for several more days. How in the nine levels of hell did the little bastard escape. InuTaisho took immediate action and sent some of his best trackers to find his missing bitch. He also sent a couple of warriors in case it was a kidnapping as the healer was suggesting by the conspicuously missing scent. Once again the dominate of the pair squashed down the strange squeezing feeling in his chest that had become more and more frequent since his initial mating with the filthy half-breed.

"Where are you going?" InuTaisho asked as his eldest child tried to run past him. Sesshoumaru glared back at his father before answering as his other parent held fast to his arm in want of an answer.

"To look for Kaa-san." Sesshoumaru's answer was short, sweet, and to the point. InuTaisho was stunned and confused because he had thought that Sesshoumaru hated and was ashamed of the _creature _that had bore him. The pup took that moment of shock to pull his arm free and continue on his way to search for his mother. Sesshoumaru did not even bother to use his senses because his instincts were telling him exactly where his mother was. Sesshoumaru followed the direction he was being pulled in until he reached the palace forest. He was not surprised as he remembered that his mother had loved being in the gardens, talking to the plants, bugs, and animals. Sesshoumaru had used to do it too and he loved playing games with the many aspects of Nature until his father had broken him of that habit.

Sesshoumaru traveled further and further into the forest until he reached the ancient tree and one of the oldest advisor's on his father's council, Bokusenou. It was not Bokusenou that caught his attention; rather it was the ethereal sight that was attached to Bokusenou above Sesshoumaru's own impressive height. InuTaisho, who had followed after regaining himself, also stopped in awe of what he saw. There was his mate, bound to a tree with only the necessities covered, his body covered in a multitude of scars that did not detract from the young half demon's beauty at all. Both of them just stared for a while before InuTaisho composed himself enough to wake the ancient tree that was even older than he.

"Bokusenou?" InuTaisho asked rather than demanded. It would not do well to get on the old demon's nerves.

"What do you want, _dog_?" Both inus were taken back by the tone of the ancient tree, but each held their composure in want of the ancient tree answering their questions.

"We were searching for Inuyasha. What happened?" Bokusenou seemed to think for a moment before he began to speak once more.

"You are not worthy of an answer. When you return to the DaiYoukai of before, perhaps I will be generous enough to give you something worth knowing, until then leave the child be! Now be gone, my rest has been disturbed enough!" Bokusenou smirked before his face disappeared once more as he returned to his sleep. It was quite interesting to see such a strong Shiro Inu king and Lord of the Western Lands run away with his tail between his legs like a pup. However, it was time that the dog grew up or he would lose Inuyasha's heart forever. The Great Mistress may not approve of his method of helping the House of Inu, but her way had caused the boy more suffering than he was capable of handling. The memories that the boy had shown him while embracing his core had been horrifying and he was shocked that the woman had let such vile things happen to someone she considered her favored child. Bokusenou gave a mental sigh as he thought about the next confrontation he was going to have to deal with and that was with the woman herself. He really did not want to, but every now and then, those in power forget their way and it was clear he needed to show her that she had lost hers when it came to Inuyasha.

"Sleep well child, may you find peace within your dreams. Even if it is only for a little while."

**_A/N: This is probably the only part that is like the canon, however it also means that Inuyasha is going to be out of the picture for a bit. As the saying goes "Absence makes the heart grow fonder," or so I've heard. Please REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!_**

Cheers!

Nama


	9. Chapter 9

Title: Love Me Love Me Not

Chapter: Twenty-Five Years

Date: August 15, 2010

InuTaisho sighed as he received yet another complaint from one of his ally kingdoms in respect to certain negotiations that were being revised as they were every bi-centennial. When the problems first began, he went to his vassal, Jaken, wondering why the imp had no input on the parchments he left out for the green one to read. When he had asked Jaken, the little demon had replied that he had never intruded upon such delicate paperwork, let alone intrude upon his lord's private chambers. To say that InuTaisho had been stunned was an understatement, he had been rendered speechless and his entire thought process had shut down because there was only one other individual that had had access to the negotiations in questions. Inuyasha.

It appeared that Inuyasha's presence had not only affected his political duties, but it had also enhanced his libido. Since the hanyou's voluntary remission from life, InuTaisho could not even enjoy any of his harem because they did not excite him. It had taken him nearly a decade to figure out why and the reason was that none of them were Inuyasha. They did not have his golden eyes, his cute little white ears, or that tantalizing scent that never failed to make his blood run south. Ever since Inuyasha's scent had disappeared from the castle, InuTaisho had been physically unable to perform. He could not even please himself and that was frustrating as hell because he had went from a healthy once a day to absolutely nothing. He had not realized that it was Inuyasha's scent that had aroused him until the scent was no longer available. Even Raja had not been able to push him into celibacy when she passed and her scent disappeared. It also made him angry to think that the pup had such power over him and he wondered if Inuyasha had known and decided to punish him. Yes, he had not treated the hanyou as a proper mate, but he did not deserve the kind of punishment he was receiving.

Then on the other hand, he knew that Inuyasha would not have punished their children in order to get back at him. He had to give the hanyou his due when it came to the pups that he had bore. Inuyasha had cared for them better than he had expected. Thinking of the children, they had taken his predicament the hardest. Sesshoumaru had finally taken to wearing Mokomoko-sama, a pelt that had been made from Inuyasha's own hair and given to Sesshoumaru at birth. It was the only item in the castle besides the twins' pelts, Yukiakiri-sama (brightness of snow) and Gisho-sama (playful laughter), that had Inuyasha's scent and even then it was not very powerful. However, it comforted them and InuTaisho would not begrudge them that as he knew that the reason behind Inuyasha's 'departure' was mostly his fault. He had not just thought that.

InuTaisho sighed as his last thought repeated itself. It _was _his fault that Inuyasha had left them to themselves. As long as he was being honest with himself, he could also tell himself that he had long since seen the signs in Inuyasha. The hanyou was strong for lasting for a little over a hundred years with him before throwing all to the wind, but even he had known that he was pushing his smaller mate to the breaking point. At that point, he had not cared either, but that had changed when everything started to fall apart because the hanyou left. It did not mean that he liked the hanyou, but he did care for the worth that the bast- Inuyasha had unknowingly demonstrated. InuTaisho had only one course of action left to him; he had to try and convince Inuyasha to come back. He was that desperate to end the ever mounting problems that had started since the half-breed had left.

* * *

InuTaisho went out to Bokusenou every day to talk to both the tree, for council, and Inuyasha. He told Inuyasha about how much he was missed and made promises of how he would ensure that Inuyasha would never be treated as he had been. It might not be the best treatment that could be offered given the status of hanyous in general, but it would be marginally better than what he had allowed to happen to Inuyasha in the past. He also assured Inuyasha that his own behavior toward the half demon would change. He would at least be civil to Inuyasha and he promised that he would no longer exclude Inuyasha from their children as he had done or any future children that he was hoping to have with the hanyou.

Bokusenou heard everything, but he allowed none of it to reach Inuyasha's slumber because he did not hear once ounce of sincerity in anything the Daiyoukai had to say. When, _if_, the dog demon was sincere in his apologies and promises to Inuyasha, perhaps the ancient tree would allow Inuyasha to hear his alpha's words and Inuyasha could decide for himself if he was ready to return to the world of the living, walking, and talking. However, with the way InuTaisho's words were going, that would be a long time in coming.

**_A/N: I know that this chapter is short, but it will get better. However, I am moving into my dorm this weekend and starting my classes at UNC next week, so the next chapter will be longer, but it will be delayed. I do not know how long it will take for me to settle in, but know that I will not abandon you. However, that does not mean that you can skimp on the reviews my dear readers, or I will not be a happy authoress and an unhappy authoress can lead to laziness that could end in shortened chapters or even more delayed updates. So please REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW._**

**_Nama_**


	10. Chapter 10

Title: Love Me Love Me Not

Chapter: The Return

Date: September 20, 2010

As the years passed, alliances within and out of the Western Lands continued to deteriorate as Inuyasha remained sleepily locked within the embrace of Bokusenou. However, on one particular dewy, spring morning, the lord of the palace could feel something different in the air and auras that surrounded him. Something was going to change, something significant and he could not make up his mind whether or not it was a good thing or bad. It put the Western Lord on edge, causing all those that dwelt within the palace, including his children, to avoid him for fear of his irrational temperament.

With a sigh, the DaiYoukai wandered out of the castle and into the small forest within the palace walls. He was hoping that the exercise and the scenery, perhaps a talk, would soothe his troubled mind. When InuTaisho reached Bokusenou, his eyes widened and he felt as though he had lost the ability to properly draw in air. Inuyasha was no longer resting majestically against the ancient trunk of the old tree demon but awake, slightly unaware, and ethereally beautiful. Vines that had been growing in the young hanyou's hair for fifty years had bloomed bloody red and contrasted starkly with the shadow paleness of Inuyasha's skin and moonlight colored hair. Fifty years of sleep had also done what Healer Pancho had been unable to and had erased most scars from Inuyasha's body. The only ones that remained were those that InuTaisho had inflicted and the pinpoint pricks from the poisoned senbon that Inuyasha had saved their children from.

Without realizing what he had done until they had cleared the forest, InuTaisho returned to reality to find himself cuddling his hanyou mate bridle-style against his chest while rambling nonsense to the still dazed half-demon. Before they reached the eyes of others, however, InuTaisho made sure that Inuyasha was covered and he was surprised that he was doing it because of his primal instinct, but because he truly cared for Inuyasha's comfort. He remembered how he had humiliated the young one in front of his entire court after Inuyasha had tried to hide his body in embarrassment the night before when he had uncharacteristically wanted to rut the little one out of season. Inuyasha had disappeared for almost a week afterwards, but he had not cared as long as the bastard had learned his lesson.

* * *

Inuyasha had been reluctant to wake up, but Bokusenou was forcing him to by will of Mother Nature. She had given Inuyasha time to compose himself, but it was time that he stopped running and face reality once more. She promised that this go-around would be much better and that soon Inuyasha would be happy, but the hanyou had already lost faith not only in her, but in all that lived in the real world. At least in his dreams, he had found the solace, acceptance, and love that he had been looking for during his short 200 years of life. However, Bokusenou was no longer able to hold his Mistress off and had to force the reluctant young one awake. However, before he sent Inuyasha to the real world for good, he promised the little one that he was always welcome to take shelter from the world in his branches, even if only for a little while.

Inuyasha was not totally aware of what was happening once he was released from Bokusenou. The half-demon thought he was still dreaming when someone that looked eerily like his mate picked him up gently and held him against a strong chest before walking away from the only sanctuary and succor he had ever known. He wanted to cry out to the large chest-ed beast to take him back, to leave him in the only place that felt like home, but he could not say anything. His throat was sore and non-existent from fifty years lack of use.

* * *

Sesshoumaru, Akikko, and Tessa felt the reconnection as soon as the pair entered the palace walls. While their father had been acting strange and with temper, the three had also been agitated that morning due to causes they could not yet understand. Sesshoumaru was even stumped and the eldest pup did not like being unable to explain what he was feeling or why he was feeling a certain way. However, any thoughts that the children had about anything flew out the window when they felt their mother within the palace walls once more. All of them, uncaring that they were supposed to be acting like royalty, took off towards the direction their instincts were taking them.

"MAMA!" the twins called out at the same time as they saw the small figure of their birth parent within the large hands of their father. When their mother had left, they had thought that their lives had come to an end and they had prayed every day since that their mother would hear their apologies and come back. They had thought it was okay to play mean pranks on Mama because that was what the other kids in the palace had said they did and no one said anything different. They had even promised to never play any pranks EVER again if Mama would just come back and shower them with the hugs and kisses that he used to. The twins' grief had been so palatable that their own father had avoided them due to the magnitude that they amplified themselves.

InuTaisho looked up at the three almost blurs headed his way. With a stern look, he stopped all three in their tracks just long enough to let them see that their mother was not quite with them just yet. On the walk back to the palace, Inuyasha had fallen into a natural sleep to give his body the proper time it needed to wake up appropriately and regain some of the everyday functions of life. All three children looked crestfallen, but as InuTaisho walked by, they stuck with him not wanting to leave their mother alone for a moment.

InuTaisho placed Inuyasha gently within his large bed and covered him warmly before sending one of the always nearby servants to fetch Healer Pancho for him. It was not that he did not trust Bokusenou, but he also knew that Inuyasha had gone fifty years consuming nothing but the air around him and wanted to make sure that nothing harmful had happened to the young submissive. While the servant was retrieving the healer, InuTaisho went to his desk across on the wall to the right of the large bed and further down the wall. The children, however, climbed into the large bed and cuddled around their mother.

That was the scene that Pancho walked in on as he answered the summons of the inu lord. He was shocked that Inuyasha had decided to come back and even more so that everyone, most notably InuTaisho, was treating the half-demon as though he was glass. Before Inuyasha had truly given up on life, enough to seek assistance elsewhere, Pancho had given up hoping that InuTaisho would honor his mate the way Inuyasha had deserved to be honored. As for the children, he had begun losing hope from the day their training with their father started. Inuyasha may have thought that he did not know where many of the wounds and hurtful words had come from, but Pancho also knew there were only three people in all the lands that Inuyasha would let his guard down for. All of them were currently worried out of their wits end over the fragile half-demon, something that was only wished for years before when there had still been hope.

Pancho had to wonder what Inuyasha's reaction would be when he woke up and saw the changes and despair that the Western Lands had fallen into during the time he withdrew into his slumber. InuTaisho could not hold alliances because Inuyasha had not been able to revise his negotiations, the children had fallen into absolutely horrible mannerisms that were unbefitting young princes of their status, and Sesshoumaru took it the worst of all. He cut off his emotions from everyone except, to some extent, his younger siblings. Even InuTaisho could not get more than a monosyllable conversation or a flicker of emotion out to the young heir. It went to show just how much Sesshoumaru loved his mother and how hard InuTaisho had to work to convince the child of his views once no longer hanging on to Inuyasha's kimono.

Pancho finished his thorough exam of the hanyou's health around the unmoving bodies of Inuyasha's children. The hanyou was in a state of malnourishment that he had seen often through the bastard child's younger years which was not a surprise. Inuyasha was desperately wishing to die and leave the world behind, so Pancho had the feeling that the hanyou had disregarded any attempts at nutrition while resting within his sleep. Other than that, the hanyou's muscles had had some atrophy and were go to have to be messaged back into adequate working condition before he would allow the young submissive to even think of leaving the bed. As he left after the examination, Pancho wished them luck in proving to Inuyasha the exact opposite of everything that they had done to him. They were going to need it in the coming months as Inuyasha's mental stability had always been fragile. They would either heal him or break what was left if Inuyasha left anything for the to break.

* * *

**A/N: Hello again dear readers! I am back, however, update will still be slow as I do have to study first, but I will try to update at least twice a month if not more. I also know that this is more of a filler chapter, but pay close attention to the hints throughout it. The road is about to become dark, grim, and rough again. Hope you enjoy it. Please REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!**

**Cheers!**

**Nama**


	11. Chapter 11

Title: Love Me Love Me Not

Chapter: The Long Road to Understanding

Date: October 16, 2010

Inuyasha watched dully as Pancho continued to massage his stiff and, as of yet, unmoving muscles. He did not want to recover, he wanted to die, he wanted to disappear, and he wanted that peace of loneliness again. He would rather be the only person in the world than to be once again subjected to the tortures of the palace that he had had to call home. He wished Mother had just let him die when he had taken the poison darts during the ceremony. He had fulfilled his purpose and made sure that InuTaisho's heir lived to his maturing and gained the standing needed to protect him from the jealousies of the council.

Pancho watched Inuyasha's face with extreme worry as he finished the massage. The petite hanyou was wearing the same defeated/resigned expression as he had when he had slit his wrists when he was just past a hundred years old. He would have to report the depression the lord of the palace because he knew that Inuyasha would need to be watched vigilantly or the white haired half-inu might succeed this time. Should Inuyasha die, InuTaisho would never be able to live with the regret that Pancho could see that he harbored every day. The demon lord had never realized just how under his skin that the little one was and unless the DaiYoukai could realize his feelings and then convince Inuyasha of them, then he was sure that Inuyasha would find a way to succeed at erasing his existence. The children would be able to convince Inuyasha for so long, but Inuyasha knew that they would not always need him there to guide them, probably already thinks along those lines. Only InuTaisho would be able to convince Inuyasha of his need to remain within the lives that know him and love him.

"Inuyasha, you didn't eat your meal. In order to get better, you have to eat," Pancho pleaded gently. Inuyasha had to stay alive long enough for the wrongs to him to be corrected.

"I'm not hungry." It was short and harsh coming from the usually demure hanyou. Pancho could only sigh with his failed attempt and pray to every deity he knew to help fix the misgivings of the hanyou before him. Inuyasha should have been loved, cherished, happy, but all he received was damnation, condemnation, cruelty, and heart-shattering pain. It made Pancho's heart hurt to see such a pure spirited person be trampled on so much that they were driven to the point of dishonorable suicide. What was worse was the state of the hanyou's mind. He had come to believe everything that had been said to him and he was desperately trying to get rid of the pain in the only way he knew how.

* * *

"How is he doing, Pancho?" InuTaisho asked as he watched the currently sleeping form in the middle of his large bed. Inuyasha had always looked small in it, but now he just looked absolutely infinitesimal.

"Not well. His mental has completely devolved into a suicidal state. He refuses to eat and his bodily functions are beginning to slow from what they were when he first awoke. If something doesn't give soon, we are truly going to lose him." Pancho turned to look the DaiYoukai in the eye. What he was about to say might lose him his place in the palace, but it needed to be said.

"What he really needs, however, is for you to get your head out of your ass. He needs to know that he is wanted by the one that is supposed to love him for his inner beauty as well as his outer beauty." Pancho paused for breath and to gauge the reaction of the looming DaiYoukai. What he saw there both surprised and did not surprise him. The demon lord was battling himself, he expected that, but what he had not expected was to see the anger and almost disgust that crowded the older male's features as well. This did not bode well for the sanity of the Western Lands and its surrounding neighbors.

"Is it really so bad to love him just because he was born of both worlds. We demons profess to not have the same prejudices that our ningen counterparts do and yet look at what has been done to that innocent child that is your mate. He did everything he could to make you happy that he lost what little was left of his own and yet you continued to demand more without ever giving him anything but what was expected of those lower than you. You claim to treat all of those under you with the same care, yet you blame and punish him for the miracle that Mother Nature incurred. Remember this if nothing else: by the time Inuyasha was sixty years old (about 9 human years) he was thinking, wishing, hoping, and attempting to accomplish death. What did you wish for at that age, m'lord?" With that, Pancho walked away to the leave the stern leader to digest his words. Hopefully they would be taken to heart so that Inuyasha could finally find the stability and peace needed to thrive into the wonderful, beautiful person that he could be. As of now, he was a beautiful, colored bud that Pancho was anxious to seem bloom instead of suffering a premature death that would forever lock away the unparalleled beauty that remained hidden.

* * *

Inuyasha awoke to the feeling of unnatural warmth that had suddenly engulfed his tiny frame. He opened his eyes slowly only to see the wall across from the bed, however that was not the origin of the warmth. Without regards or care as to what the source of heat was, he rolled over while half attempting to get rid of the warmth. There was no warmth, comfort, peace for him. There was only the nothingness of death awaiting him and he yearned desperately for it. What he saw stirred a small tremor of fear and surprise across his face and within the workings of his heart. The InuTaisho was lying with him and without having immediately demanded any service of him, though in his current condition he would not be able to do much.

InuTaisho watched Inuyasha sleep for almost an hour before reaching a decision about what to do. He walked across the room, got in the bed, and settled himself around the small frame. He kept his arms firm, but gentle as he just held the young one to himself. It was something that he had always fought himself from doing and now he knew why. He was enjoying for reasons other than lust and that was something that had been taboo then. The healer had been right was the only thought that flitted across his mind as Inuyasha turned to him and showed not only surprise, but fear, fear that before the ceremony would have been a welcomed sight in his ignorance and arrogance, but now only caused his chest to tighten with guilt.

Inuyasha, seeing that nothing was wanted of him, turned away and tried to scoot away from the imposing arms of his mate. The larger male, however, only tightened his arms and pulled Inuyasha closer to his large frame. The hanyou felt a nose in his hair, right behind his ear and jerked in automatic reaction. His ears were sensitive and that had always been exploited when someone wanted to see him in pain. However, the DaiYoukai just continued to inhale the scent of Inuyasha as they lay there. The moment was compromised, however, as the children came in the door. Apparently their lessons had ended early and soon InuTaisho was forcefully, cheerfully shoved out of the way to make room for three pups that had missed their Mommy with every instinct they had. They were afraid of losing him again and InuTaisho felt another tightening in his chest as he recalled that it was mostly his fault that his pups had nearly lost the being that had taken great pains to bore them. He watched the almost apathetic response that Inuyasha showed and knew that he had a long, long, long way to go before he could make right all that he did wrong, but dammit if he was not going to try everything in his power to do so anyway.

* * *

**Hey everyone, I'm back again. Sorry for the lengthy wait, but right now i feel as if my life is constantly surrounding textbooks and paper writing. However, I hope that you enjoyed this new chapter because I took nearly two hours to put just the right angst in it. So please reward my hard work and give me many, many, MANY REVIEWS!**

**thanks for your patronage (hehe i used a big girl word).**

**Cheers!**

**Nama**


	12. Chapter 12

Title: Love Me Love Me Not

Chapter: The Start

Date: October 29, 2010

InuTaisho spent most of the night after Pancho's talk plotting on how to correct the grave mistakes of his past against Inuyasha. He figured that the first thing he would have to do is show his young mate that he was not going to cause him any harm to him; neither emotionally, physically, or mentally. That would have to be the first step into the gaining the hanyou's trust and once he had the bast- Inuyasha's trust then he could begin to heal emotional and mental turmoil that he had caused. Torment he had allowed to befall the young one for every day of his life and all because he blamed Inuyasha for having shamed his first mate as she had not been able to give him a child. InuTaisho still felt the sting of resentment, but now he had to question whether it was resent for Inuyasha himself or if it was resent for what his young mate stood for.

Inuyasha stared blankly at the food that had been placed before him. He had long since lost his appetite for anything of the living world and no one, not even his children, had been able to convince the hanyou otherwise. Inuyasha had become so tired of living that he could not even muster up the energy to be surprised that it was his husband whom had delivered the tray himself. Inuyasha could see his mate's mouth moving, but no sounds reached his ears. The hanyou did not want to hear anything anyway. He just wanted to pass into oblivion without the noise that everyone _wanted_ him to stay. He knew good and damn well that no one wanted and that he could not even trust in his Mother because in the end she had betrayed him also. He just wanted everyone to leave him alone so that he could quicken the process, but he was not alone for even a moment. If it was not his mate, it was Pancho and if not the healer, it was his children cuddling up to him. He wondered what tricks they had up their sleeves as they had never been so clingy before he had went to Bokusenou. On the other hand, Inuyasha hoped that he was not around long enough to find out. He did not want to find out whether or not there was any more of him left to break. He already felt as though he had been shattered into nothing but dust from the first round. He could not and would not go for round two.

* * *

Inuyasha's opportunity came when everyone became flustered with the arrival of induction of an heir to his father's position in the Northern Lands. Since the Western Palace was the closest dwelling built to hold such ceremonies, the wolves (who lived in dens in the mountains) asked to hold the event within the palace walls. For the sake of keeping one of his few remaining allies, InuTaisho agreed. He, Sesshoumaru, and many others, including the twins, were busy preparing for the arrival and the servants that had been assigned to watch Inuyasha had long since left the disgusting hanyou's side. Inuyasha took the open balcony doors and began the slow climb to the highest terrace that made up the west end of the palace. It only took the weakened hanyou an hour to reach it. Panting heavily, Inuyasha looked over the edge and judged the distance to be enough that even his Mother would not be able to revive him after he had hit the ground. Inuyasha pulled back from the edge and took a deep breath of the cool wind that was rattling through the tops of the palace. With his eyes close, he missed the blue eyed demon that had just arrived through the west gate and spotted him.

The newly titled Lord Kouga of the Northern Lands had just arrived at the Western Palace and was looking forward to the next day of rest after the long travel to the Western Lands. The blue eyed, dark haired wolf lord had taken a moment to stop and appreciate the view when he had caught the sight of glaring white at the top of his vision. He stared at the figure as it stepped back from the edge, his heart stuttering a beat for a moment before it skipped several beats in his chest when the tiny figure took sure steps forward to the edge. The unknown individual did not show any hint of slowing and Kouga's feet were moving before his mind could fully comprehend what he was seeing.

Inuyasha was ready. He was going over the edge into the final moments before he attained eternal peace, the only thing he had ever selfishly tried to attain time and time again. Without opening his eyes, Inuyasha took confident step forward. He was ready to get away from it all and nothing could still this moment because everyone was too busy caring about something else, just as Inuyasha had known that they would eventually forget him. Inuyasha smiled as his body fell forward and the wind began to whip harshly at his body as he fell from the great height. Everything would be okay now. He would not have to suffer the world anymore and the world would not have to suffer him. Compromise would be made and a treaty of understanding would finally be honored. Inuyasha would be free. The smiled widened as Inuyasha sensed the ground getting closer.

Kouga was desperate. He was not going to make it in time even with his superior speed. The wolf lord made a bold decision and called forth his youki. When it had all gathered, he began to change into a wolf that was about the size of a large tree, but the ookami still did not think he was going to make it in time. He was almost there. He leaped for the figure, a scream, yells, agony in his side. Did he get it?

InuTaisho had been seeing to the preparation of the ceremonial hall when the alarms sounded that a demon had just transformed within the palace walls. InuTaisho was running down the maze of halls toward the sound of the alarms at the west gate and was joined by Sesshoumaru just before they reached the door. They saw the large wolf and they also saw what the wolf was running towards. Sesshoumaru's eyes grew large while InuTaisho attempted to raise his voice above the din of his men.

"STAND DOWN!"

The cry went unheard, however, and the warriors attacked the wolf anyway. The wolf jumped and was attacked at the same time. Inuyasha continued to fall, but the wolf seemed to be getting closer.

"OKAA-CHAN!"

* * *

**A/N: Hey my most faithful readers and (better be;) reviewers! I'm back (for now). I know this chapter was shorter than normal, but it does serve a purpose. I am also going to figure out how to work the poll thingymagigger to see if there should be a sequel for my story Forsaken. I have been thinking about it, but I want to know if you guys think it warranted. It will be posted on my profile page. Until then please be on the lookout and REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!**

**Cheers!**

**Nama**


	13. Chapter 13

Title: Love Me Love Me Not

Chapter: Mother Nature's Mistake

Date: November 9, 2010

Everything stopped as the consort of the Western Lands finally hit the ground. The soldiers all looked to their lord and his heir, the transformed wolf lord laid upon the ground in pain and shock, and Inuyasha continued to bounce lightly in the large crevasse that had suddenly appeared before being hastily covered with vines. The half demon gave a howl of heart wrenching agony at yet another failed attempt before his youki exploded across the courtyard. It swirled about a twenty square meter area, killing off the plant life and sending the guards of the palace to their knees while the two DaiYoukai remained mostly unaffected. It was then that another voice joined the fray.

"INUTAISHO! STOP HIM!" Mother Nature showed herself once more in the face of her followers. Inuyasha's human side and youkai side had finally completely separated from each other and began to attack the other half themselves. Mother Nature had not thought that Inuyasha was that desperate, did not think that the pain of what he was had been that much, that the betrayal of his family had ran that deep, but she could see it with every expanding lash of his youki. There was nothing she could do to stop him from the path of self-destruction that he had chosen; only blood would be able to do that.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. OKAA-CHAN, I'M SORRY!" Sesshoumaru yelled out as he ran to his mother and hugged the hanyou fiercely. He embraced Inuyasha like he had not done since he was ten years old and he cried in repentance of what he had done to the wonderful being that had birthed him and loved him despite what he had become and what he had done. He cried like a child, like the child he had been when he had fell from his first tree when he was a pup exploring the boundaries of his abilities. He clung to Inuyasha now like he had then when his mother would soothe ache with tender kisses and heal his wounded pride with words of pride and praise.

The swirling, clashing, lashing youki abruptly ceased, the glow that had started to engulf the hanyou dimmed and died out, and slowly, Inuyasha began to react even as his mind was still in pieces. The white haired half-inu's arms surrounded his firstborn child just as if Sesshoumaru were a demon of ten again rather than one hundred. Just as slowly, Inuyasha's fragmented mind began to haphazardly piece things back together as he buried his nose in the scent of his child, as he kissed the crescent moon that made Sesshoumaru unique, and then he began to cry. Inuyasha cried in mourning over the fact he had caused his son such pain, that he had reduced the strong, stoic demon to shameless tears, and most of all, Inuyasha cried for himself for still being alive to haunt the lives of those that he loved the most.

* * *

It had been almost a month since Inuyasha's last attempt at taking his own life and his children had yet to let go of him as though he would disappear from their lives. They refused to do anything without the presence of their mother including their tutoring, meals, and playtime. Sesshoumaru would not even attend meetings with his father unless his mother was there as well. Unbeknownst to Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha, the hanyou's appearance had the added effect of demonstrating Inuyasha's politically sharp mind. InuTaisho had seen it when the half-demon had slept for fifty years, but to see the boy in action was absolutely jaw dropping. Not only was InuTaisho impressed, so were the other lords as they even admitted to their jealousy of the inu king having such an intelligent and beautiful mate.

"Not all of us can be that lucky, dear friend. Oh, and should you ever pass on, I would love to take care of your…," the demon was silenced by the dangerous aura that began to admit from the great DaiYoukai.

"Kidding, kidding! Sheesh, with an aura like that, someone might actually think you cared for the little one." InuTaisho tried to snort, but something about his old friend's words rang true and the demon lord found that instead of angry or amused, he was just tired. With his constant vigilance of Inuyasha, he had not had much time to sort through his own emotions and separate them so that he could finally find out what Inuyasha truly meant to him, if the bastard meant anything to him at all.

* * *

Mother Nature watched with sad eyes as she observed her favored child going through the motions of life listlessly. Her predictions were never wrong, but she was starting to seriously doubt this one would end the way she had seen it as she watched Inuyasha continue to wither away despite the love of his children and the attempts of compromise of his mate. Inuyasha had already been a broken being when he had been forced by not only InuTaisho's hand to mate, but hers as well. The last straw seemed to be when Inuyasha's own children, the fruit of his own womb, turned against him as well and the betrayal of those that were supposed to love you unconditionally still ran deep in the hanyou. Perhaps he would have been happier if she had not intervened on InuTaisho's behalf, but there was nothing she could do to change the past. However, it was not looking good for the future either.

The woman cried as she thought about how she had destroyed one of her own in mind, body, spirit, and most of all, she had destroyed his trust in not only her, but anyone. Even the healer that had always taken care of him, taken his side was no longer trusted by Inuyasha, despite having done nothing to break Inuyasha's trust. It was because of her and not listening to his pleas and cries of help when the pain had become too much, when the betrayal had begun to dig crevasses instead of trenches, and most of all, she had allowed other priorities to top him when for so long he had been her number one. She had been his solace and she had provided him shelter and friends when the world would give him neither. She had ruined that to further her own plans of change for a world that was not yet ready and she had put it on shoulders that were not strong enough to bear the weight that it had already held. She had told the house of inu that it was up to them to fix Inuyasha, but it was also up to her. She also knew that it was going to cause Inuyasha yet more pain, but this time she knew, she had to know, that it would work out for the best in the end.

* * *

Inuyasha was drowning and every time he got a breath of fresh air, someone ripped it away from him. They screamed, yelled, and beat it into him that he was not wanted or needed on this earth and yet they refuse to let him die. His children, the few beings on this plane that were supposed to love him in equal turnabout of his love for them betrayed him, and his mate made it quite clear that he had no more use for him. All it did was to reaffirm to him what he already knew; no one ever has or ever will love a hanyou. He was a filthy, disgusting creature that was not fit to inhabit the earth, yet every time he tried to fix that mistake that Mother had forced upon everyone, no one would let him do it. He was confused, yet he knew one thing, he wanted out, he wanted peace, and for once he was going to be selfish enough to do whatever it took to achieve it.

**A/N: Depressing, I know, but I did give out warnings in the beginning so no complaints as I will burn them at the bonfire this weekend. However, I posted earlier than planned because I got so many reviews last chapter. However, I am a greedy authoress and demand more before I will consider posting the next chapter. So, Review, Review, Review, Review!**

**Cheers!**

**Nama**


	14. Chapter 14

Title: Love Me Love Me Not

Chapter: Sorting InuTaisho and Mother Nature's Solution

Date: December 18, 2010

InuTaisho had assigned his servants and guards to watch Inuyasha like he was Shiro Inu on Earth while he took a few moments to himself. He had to figure out exactly what he felt for the hanyou and what was purely resentment of the boy's mother that had been misplaced to the child that held a piece of her. He looked back to his reaction to the news that the ningen had become pregnant with his child. He had been enraged that Nature had played with him so, knowing well that not only would the child never be able to be anything more than a bastard, but that the child would be born a _hanyou._ The thought of exactly what Inuyasha was still sent shudders of revulsion down his spine. He was also furious with the fact that Raja was a perfectly healthy and fertile she-demon yet his seed would never take during their semi-centennial heats. When he had heard that the ningen had tried to kill the pup within her in the early and late stages of her pregnancy, he had been overjoyed with the possibility of never having to live with such a disgrace, even if it meant he had to hand the throne to one of his corrupted relatives.

When the child had been born with only minor signs of its mother's attempts, he had felt some reluctant pride well up in his chest before his disgust of the creature had overrode the feeling. When he had seen that the child had been taken in by the healer when Raja was dying as was the child that they had finally managed to conceive together, he blamed the hanyou for their death. He knew now that Inuyasha had not been the curse to his beloved mate's and child's death, but he still felt that had the boy never been born, it would never have happened the way it did. When he had taken the boy as his mate, he could admit that the unadulterated fear that Inuyasha had given off had not appealed to his rational side at all. In fact, it was the main reason he had not touched Inuyasha outside of mating season because the poor bastard nearly wet himself with fear every time they were alone together in a room. InuTaisho recognized now, that he probably should have worked with Inuyasha on his fear instead of exacerbating it by taking his own frustrations out on the pup. He also realized that he could have waited a bit longer before making the boy his mate and at least giving the pup the semblance of a choice instead of locking him away like a dirty secret. However, his true regret came from how he had let those of lower station treat Inuyasha and how he had taught his…their children to treat him.

As he continued to look back at his actions and feelings toward his bastard son and mate, he realized that the cruelty of his…their children to Inuyasha had been when the hanyou had finally reached the end of his rope and despite their children's current attempts at correcting their behavior; the damage had already been done. InuTaisho had seen how attached, loving, and caring Inuyasha was for his…_their_ children and he had still vindictively limited and limited their time with their mother as they grew and encouraged them to treat their mother just like he did and allowed the servants to do with nothing more as a reason than their mother was hanyou and a bastard.

The servants and guards was another thing that he regretted because he never should have allowed them to believe that they were above Inuyasha and his station as Consort of the Western Lands and of the Shiro Inu king. For his mate it had destroyed any confidence that he might have built up, but more importantly it was a lost chance to gain the boy's confidence in himself and de-esculate some of the fear that he had instilled in the boy since the very beginning of their mating. It was also another nail in the coffin that he had acted no better than they and allowed his mate to feel lesser than the dirt beneath his boots despite the fact that just Inuyasha's acquired position as his mate deserved respect even if he did not respect the hanyou. The fact that he felt regret for his actions with their children and the battery of the pup's self-esteem to the point of desperate suicidal depression, convinced him that he did indeed have some care for Inuyasha and that most of his feelings had been him holding a grudge not just against that ningen, but Mother Nature as well. She had been the engineer behind everything and he had been wrong to not see it before as only she could defy her own set of laws. Between all of them, they had destroyed a beautiful, innocent soul that had never spoken against them or retaliated despite having more than enough justification to. The only question now was, what the hell were they going to do to fix it?

* * *

Mother Nature had been worrying over how she was going to make it up to Inuyasha for her foolishness and the pushing of her own agenda over the stress of his life. However, as she watched the _joy_ in Inuyasha's eyes as he was surrounded by his children, she knew what she was going to do. She would undo the curses that she had placed on Inuyasha's womb and on Sesshoumaru. She needed to go talk to InuTaisho about the decision, but she believed it was the right thing to do. She wanted to give him the chance at parenthood that InuTaisho and she had robbed him of with every child he had had. She quietly excused herself and traveled off to InuTaisho's public study where he had shut himself up for the past couple of hours.

She wisped through the door without a care for why it was closed and interrupted his heavy pondering. A sigh left the great DaiYoukai as he opened his eyes to give his full attention to the one deity that he wished he had the power to eradicate without serious repercussions.

"What have I done wrong this time?" His voice was tired as he sarcastically questioned the invading presence known as Mother Nature.

"Don't take that tone with me! That's not what I'm here for anyway. I just wanted to inform you that both your punishment and that of your heir have been lifted. Just don't mess this chance up this time because there may not be another one." Having said her peace, Mother Nature left in a fade as InuTaisho stared at where she had been previously with shock. For a moment he wanted to be outraged, but as he took a moment to think about, Inuyasha had been happiest when he was with child and raising one. Perhaps this would give them the time they needed to truly get through to Inuyasha. However, InuTaisho also realized that he had several things that he needed to do before he could succeed with his ultimate goal. He already had Mother Nature's guarantee that it would happen, but he needed to comfort the pup before he tried anything. For the first time since he had been courting his first mate, InuTaisho was going to have to be romantic.

It would take careful planning, time, and hope that Inuyasha would have an open mind if not an open heart to his advances. He acknowledged that he had done Inuyasha wrong and he wanted his mate to know that he was trying to make amends. He would start by actually trying to court the hanyou before he began seducing him. He did not want to scare Inuyasha anymore than he already had. Inuyasha's path to recovery would a very long one without him adding to it. He left the study to find his trusted vassal, Jaken, to fetch him some of the things he would need and to get word around about the treatment of Inuyasha and its consequences.

**A/N: Okay people, let it be noted that the story is coming to an end and within the next 3 to 5 chapters. However, that does not mean that you guys can be slack about the reviews. If you are, I can promise you that this story will not be finished by the the time my winter break is over. SO REVIEW, REVIEW,REVIEW!**

**Cheers!**

**Nama**


	15. Chapter 15

Title: Love Me Love Me Not

Chapter: Courting and Seducing

Date: December 19, 2010

InuTaisho was nervous as he finalized everything before Inuyasha was set to arrive. He had managed to talk the pups into letting him have their mother for the evening, alone, so that they could work some things out. InuTaisho had set up a moonlight picnic under Bokusenou in the forest within the palace walls. He chose the location because he hoped that it would make Inuyasha more comfortable about being alone with him as well as assure the young man that he had no ill intentions. He also knew that Bokusenou had a soft spot for the little hanyou and would ensure that he kept himself in line. He looked up as he heard the soft footfalls of Inuyasha just a few trees beyond the small clearing that they would be using.

Inuyasha was to his wit's end with fear of why Lord InuTaisho had called him out to the forest so late at night. He was afraid that the DaiYoukai had found out the nature of the tea that he had been making for himself after one of the servants had tried to poison him, but was found out by Sesshoumaru. It had given Inuyasha the perfect excuse to use his herbal knowledge to his advantage. However, if his lord knew, then he would force Inuyasha to give up his tea and therefore force him to continue through the absolute hell that was called his life. Inuyasha began to breath deep as he approached the clearing to prevent himself from hyperventilating. He really wanted to go back to his room, which he had finally been allowed to move back into, and hide from the terror that he knew was coming.

Inuyasha finally rounded the last tree and stopped with eyes wide in surprise at the vision, for surely it could not be real, before him. Lord InuTaisho was standing next to Bokusenou, _fidgeting_, with a large, bright red blanket on the ground and on the blanket was a lovely spread of all of his favorite foods. He had not even thought that InuTaisho knew his name, let alone his favorite foods. He was beginning to feel seriously confused and freaked out as he was shown a side of his lord that he had only heard of when talked with fond memory of how InuTaisho had met with Raja. When the demon cleared his throat, Inuyasha startled, upset that he forgot himself, and immediately bowed before his lord while lowering his eyes to the ground. He was so stupid to have forgotten himself, to have believed that he was worthy enough to look at the one who ruled the Western Lands without permission. Inuyasha held back a whimper when the larger of the two approached him. He could already feel the anger in the air and he knew that the smack that would follow would sting for days and bruise for longer despite his demon blood and healing abilities.

InuTaisho watched as Inuyasha literally curled into himself and once again fear permeated the air like rain; the regret and guilt that he had been the one to drive the hanyou so far, had broken him down so much made his chest feel tight and tingly with his emotions. The position that the pup had taken was one he had seen often when he had been angry at the bastard before he gave his heavy handed punishment. He had messed up bad. His mate was not supposed to fear being near him, to fear him at all. His mate was supposed to be his equal in status, but even in public, the hanyou always faded away into the background or when he was put in the spotlight, he deferred to their son Sesshoumaru rather than to himself. It humbled him to the knowledge that he had a long road to travel with Inuyasha in making things right.

InuTaisho did not back off from the hanyou, instinctively knowing that that reaction would not go well with the pup either. Instead, the royal inu reached out slowly to cup the young one's chin and lift the boy's eyes to at least look at him. The fact that Inuyasha was afraid to look directly upon his person compounded the guilt that he had already been feeling since the he had found the conclusion to his feelings about the pup. Inuyasha's face came up but he kept his eyes lowered and looked off to the side that his lord would not be even more angered at him by looking upon his esteemed person yet again by his unworthy and filthy self. InuTaisho held back a sigh at the action and lowered his hand to take his mate's and led the hanyou to the picnic blanket behind him. Hopefully, Inuyasha would enjoy a little of the evening.

At the blanket, InuTaisho guided his mate's frail frame down to the ground before seating himself. Once he had settled, he softly pushed Inuyasha's hands away from the basket and told the young hanyou to just relax.

"Tonight is all about you. I want to thank you for everything that you have done and I refused to acknowledge it. I want to apologize, Inuyasha, and tonight I want to celebrate all of your achievements that I wrongly accredited to others. Will you accept my apologies, mate?" InuTaisho admitted. Inuyasha stared wide eyed at the DaiYoukai before he regained his senses. Inuyasha knew what the proper response was and he nodded his head slightly to indicate it. If he did not speak it, thereby not having to think and process it, then even the great InuTaisho could not tell if he was lying. However, the demon was no longer just relying on what he could see and smell when it came to the hanyou because there was human blood that blocked some of the effect of his youki on Inuyasha's.

"Inuyasha, please don't avoid me that way. I don't want you to just admit to what I want to hear. I want you to tell me the truth as you see it, please?" InuTaisho cringed at his pleading tone. He had never had to plead to anyone for anything, let alone something that should seem so insignificant and yet, it seemed as though his world would collapse if he did not press for Inuyasha to be honest in this matter.

"I-I-I d-don-don't kn-know," Inuyasha answered uncertainly. It was closer to the actual truth, but it was still not the entire truth. InuTaisho took the partial truth and left it as a small victory. Bigger battles could be fought later once he had regained some measure of trust from the half-demon that had borne his children.

"Well, you have plenty of time to think about it." InuTaisho placed small portions of each of the different foods before Inuyasha and motioned gently for the smaller male to eat. He waited until Inuyasha took a hesitant bite before he prepared his own and began to eat with his mate. As they were eating, InuTaisho began a tentative attempt at conversation with his mate only to find that he had absolutely no idea of what to talk about or what types of things that the pup was interested in, at least until he remembered what Inuyasha had been doing when he had made the decision to mate the boy.

"You haven't visited the gardens or played in them in fifty years. Is there something wrong? With the gardens, I mean?" Inuyasha was once again startled by the way in which he was spoken to. It was almost as if his mate was trying to speak to him as an equal, however, this time he managed to hide it very well. He also thought that the entire evening was setting him up for something and his guard was on high alert. There was a stink in the air and Inuyasha was not sure that he liked it at all.

* * *

The dates continued for almost a month before the truth came out when Inuyasha had just been willing to believe that maybe his mate was being sincere in his efforts to get to know and possibly care for him. He had been seeking the DaiYoukai out to bring up InuTaisho's question of forgiveness. He felt that he was finally ready to give an honest answer to the question when he heard their voices at the end of the next corridor. They were not very quiet either.

"Have you impregnated him yet?" Inuyasha recognized the voice as belonging to Mother Nature. He listened in closer as his interest was piqued. Who were they talking about and who was the other person?

"Like I said a moment ago, if I do this, I will do it only as fast as he will let me. I will not rush him into something without giving us a chance to bloom first. I want another child with him, but there is absolutely no need to rush." Inuyasha held in a gasp as he heard his mate's voice.

"I did not open his womb to you to have you drag about. If this isn't done soon, we may not have enough time left." Inuyasha could take it no more and left. He had almost been fooled when the only thing that was wanted was for him to provide his mate with another child. Inuyasha was so glad that he had only stopped making his 'special' tea for himself two days ago. He had been ready to being on equal footing with his mate only to find that once again he was being played for the fool. Inuyasha went to his rooms and remained there the rest of the day with the request to remain unbothered by anyone. Tessa and Akkiko ignored this and tended to their mother anyway, but Inuyasha barely noticed.

* * *

"I did not ask for you to open his womb and even if you had not, I would still be trying my best to right all the wrongs that I committed against Inuyasha. If he wants and allows himself to be seduced, then it will happen when it happens. What I want is to fix the problems that we already have in the family as it stands. A child should not have to be borne with Inuyasha in the condition that he is."

"You finally care for him." It was not a question. "Very well, do it your way. I will not interfere." Mother Nature faded away to wherever it was that she dwelled when not interfering in the lives of the living. InuTaisho left to get things ready for the romantic evening he had planned for him and Inuyasha the next day. He had pulled out all of the stops and had been planning to ask Inuyasha to have a vow ceremony since their mating had left much to be desired.

* * *

Everything was almost perfect for their evening together except for one thing; Inuyasha was still barricaded within his rooms. InuTaisho took a deep breath and went to fetch his little mate himself. Hopefully Inuyasha was not feeling unwell.

InuTaisho managed to finesse Inuyasha out of his rooms and into the InuTaisho's private gardens. They shared a wonderful dinner that was a mix of Inuyasha's and InuTaisho's favorites as well as some new culinary inventions to try by the kitchen staff. The meal was wonderful, but InuTaisho noticed that something was off with Inuyasha. The evening had the same feel to it as their first date and InuTaisho was unsettled.

"Inuyasha, have I done something wrong? You seem distant this night." Inuyasha shook his head before doing something was far out of character for the usually painfully timid hanyou. Inuyasha moved into his lord's personal space and kissed the demon heatedly on the firm, warm lips. After holding the contact for several moments, Inuyasha pulled back to see why the DaiYoukai had not responded. The expression was almost enough to pull him from his goal of fulfilling the other male's wish from yesterday, but he kept his resolve despite his father's confusion. Inuyasha moved forward to try again when large, gentle hands held him at bay. It was Inuyasha's turn to be confused.

"Are you sure about this, Inuyasha? I want you to know that I don't want you to feel obligated to rut with me. I did this wrong the first time around and I don't those mistakes to repeat." Inuyasha said nothing, but he once again moved forward and this time, InuTaisho let him.

InuTaisho allowed Inuyasha to control the pace, content to merely follow the slowly heating kiss that his small mate was giving him. Inuyasha gave more and more of himself to the kiss. He wanted to know what it felt like, just once, with someone who cared even if InuTaisho did not really care. Inuyasha wanted to know what made those of the castle moon over spending their time together in such a way. He wanted to know if it could be done without the pain that had always accompanied it before.

As the passion rose, especially InuTaisho's, the larger male began to guide Inuyasha along in what to do. After a century together, neither knew how to please the other and so they both took their time to explore the other. Inuyasha's gentle and feather soft hands drifted along his mate's sculpted planes with hesitant, shy, and childish curiosity. The innocence and naivety with which Inuyasha touched sent a tingle of guilt through the older demon's chest, but he squashed in order to allow the pup to explore without worry. Inuyasha was still very responsive to his emotions even when they had absolutely nothing to do with the pup. When Inuyasha had had his fill of exploring, InuTaisho took over and began to look for the little one's pleasure spots and exploiting them to fullest. He played with overly sensitive nipples and traversed down solid planes until he was teasing pale thighs before reaching the prize. Inuyasha did not last when he was engulfed in wet heat. He lost it in his first every orgasm.

When Inuyasha returned to the present, InuTaisho had already entered the small hole and was waiting patiently for Inuyasha to rejoin him in reality. The small hanyou wrapped his legs around the larger demon above him, giving the signal that the other could move. That night, InuTaisho did not take Inuyasha with the intent to ravage, but with the intent to show the little one how much he was loved. And when they reached the pinnacle of their lovemaking, Inuyasha came with tears, while InuTaisho did with a goofy grin and a sigh. He pulled out of the tiny body and wrapped Inuyasha firmly, gently in his arms and began to grumble low in his chest to soothe the crying half demon into to sleep. Tomorrow was a new day, and hopefully this night had shown the progress that they had been working on for the past month.

**A/N: REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! And the more chapters you shall recieve. HAHAHAHAHA!**

**Cheers!**

**Nama**


	16. Chapter 16

Title: Love Me Love Me Not

Chapter: Prognosis and Inuyasha's Secret

Date: December 22, 2010

As soon as Inuyasha began to feel the early signs of pregnancy, he stopped drinking his tea and he also began to subtly refuse his mate when it came to being intimate. It was not that he had not come to enjoy the encounters once his mate had shown him that it could be done without pain, but Inuyasha was trying to distance himself from them again. At least if there was distance, he would leave with the least amount of nuisance on his family as possible. Inuyasha had absolutely no doubt that he would succeed this time. The amount of damage done to his body from his 'special' tea, the strain of healing, and the strain of supporting the pup in him would be too much for his body to handle. Inuyasha knew that he would not make it through the birth and he doubted that he would make it to full term, but the child would survive as long as he survived until the eighth month.

InuTaisho was confused. Inuyasha was pregnant again and with the way things had been going between them beside the one set back the night they first made love, he had thought that Inuyasha would be thrilled with what was basically a second chance at raising his children. However, the pup had become withdrawn again as he had done after waking from his fifty year sleep and the jump off the one of the tallest roofs. It was giving the DaiYoukai a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach and he knew that he had to confront the pup to figure out how to get the little one back. He and the pups could not take another scare from Inuyasha trying to kill himself. He knew had this situation happened fifty years ago, he would not have cared, but Inuyasha was slowly becoming more than what his label had branded him as.

InuTaisho tried everything he could think of to get his little mate to open up to him, but nothing worked. In fact, it seemed to push Inuyasha even further from him. It was beginning to affect the children as well because they were once again clinging to Inuyasha like he would leave any day. They were also giving him glares that made him proud, though a bit angry, as though it was his fault. He knew that he had not done anything this time. All he had tried to do was to right the wrongs he had done to his mate. He would have never been a father to Inuyasha, but he should have been a mate that Inuyasha could respect and not fear.

* * *

Inuyasha just wanted to be left alone. He had thought that things were finally looking up, that someone would love him or at least care for him, but it had been lies, lies so that he would bear the Great InuTaisho's next child. He did not understand why it was so important for the demon to want another child. As it stood, they had had more children than any other royal Shiro Inu family in over 40 inheritances of the title. Inuyasha did not understand why it was so important to continue to want to impregnate him when InuTaisho already had his heir and even had princes to serve as high advisors or generals to their brother. However, Inuyasha was so betrayed in this last act, that he did not even have the emotional energy to feel anything but apathy for those around him. He could not even be bothered to muster a false smile for Pancho who had always been there for him. Worse still, Inuyasha could not bond with his child. When he thought about the child or experienced symptoms, he was did not feel happiness or anger or resentment. He was detached from the life growing inside him and draining him of what little strength his tea had not.

Inuyasha was correct in his predictions about the length of time it would take before the pregnancy became too much on his body. At three months, he was napping and eating almost constantly as his body tried to gather the energy it needed to maintain his youki levels that had gone into double duty with healing Inuyasha from the poison and supporting the pup within. By mid-fourth month, Inuyasha had to be put on bed rest and could not get up to do anything except the bathroom, and even then someone had to carry him to and from because his body was so week. In his fifth month, Inuyasha wrote a letter to his unborn child as he could feel his end drawing nearer and even if nothing changed after he was gone, he wanted the little one to at least know who he was. In the seventh month, Inuyasha finally slipped into a coma as his body was beginning to give out from the stress.

InuTaisho, Sesshoumaru, Akkiko, Tess, Healer Pancho, and Mother Nature could do nothing to stop, prevent, or reverse the death that they all smelled ( in Mother's case she sensed his slowly returning presence) on the hanyou. Sesshoumaru, Akkiko, and Tess were a mess as they were losing the mother that they had never really gotten to know because they had pulled away and when they had the chance to try and make it up it had become too late. Healer Pancho had thought of Inuyasha as his own and felt the pain of losing a child. Mother Nature, for the first time since the union of the worlds of demons and humans, felt guilty about and regretful of the life that she had put Inuyasha through. She had just been so happy about her prediction of change, that she may have rushed things before their due time. She had heard of other sentient beings doing such a thing, but she had scoffed at their foolery before becoming one of those fools herself.

* * *

Bokusenou awoke as he felt the draining life of Inuyasha in the palace beyond the forest that he called home through the connection that he and the pup had forged when Inuyasha had sought solace with him. It was a terrible thing to see such a beautiful, pure soul being extinguished by the unholy darkness that surrounded it in the form of the hanyou's broken spirit. For the first time since the birth of InuTaisho, sired by the Gaken and birthed by Saku, Bokusenou uprooted his large and ancient self to begin the arduous task of replanting himself in the private gardens closest to Inuyasha's dying soul. The pup had seen horrors that and been punished for that of which he had no control over and it had touched the ancient tree about how Inuyasha had survived through it for almost sixty years before trying to drop out of the race, so to speak. Even after that, Inuyasha had never allowed himself to be poisoned by hate and revenge against those who wronged him. Other, 'better,' demons had fallen into the abyss for far less than just a fraction of what Inuyasha had faced. It was truly a shame to be losing such an influential and cunning young hanyou for such petty reasons as pride, jealousy, and social conformity.

InuTaisho, Healer Pancho, Mother Nature, and the children were confused as they felt the rumble of the ground moving in staccato intervals. The only thing that tipped them off was the smell (and Mother Nature just recognized the signature). Bokusenou had uprooted himself. InuTaisho and Healer Pancho were in shock, awe, and surprise while the children did not necessarily understand. Tree demons did not move because it was a laborious task and when they did move, it was only to fit with their non-sentient brethren or in case of emergencies. For Bokusenou to have moved, Inuyasha must have truly made an impression on one of the most ancient of trees. The large tree planted himself as close to the royal suites as possible without causing damage to the palace walls or injury to himself. His face only appeared for a moment to command those within the room, except his Mistress, to update him on the progress of Inuyasha every evening, but for the moment to remain quiet as both he and Inuyasha needed all the rest they could muster.

Inuyasha was locked away in the world of unconsciousness, but it touched a small broken part of him that the great and ancient tree who had rumor of _caring_ for no one had come to be by his side as he slowly and painlessly slipped away. His passing was everything he had hoped for; it was peaceful. Whenever his children, mate, father figure, or mother figure were in the room, Inuyasha closed his senses. He did not want to hear the horrors of what they would have to say about him now that they knew that he could not do anything (as if he had done anything when he was able to have that choice). He only had to last just a little bit longer and the child would survive. It would be the last thing that Inuyasha gave to the cruel life that his life had been placed in.

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A/N: Hey, sorry about the long wait, but my Mom wanted me to spend Christmas with her, but I did manage to sneak peeks at the reviews. I want to thank you all for you devotion and remind that within the next 2-3 chapters I will be ending the story. Please continue to review and let me know what you think. Also you have one more week to cast your vote on my profile about a sequel to Forsaken. REVIEW PLEASE!

**Cheers!**

**Nama**


	17. Chapter 17

Title: Love Me Love Me Not

Chapter: Life and Death

Date: January 22, 2011

Disclaimer: I do not own nor do I make any profit from the writing of this fiction.

InuTaisho was sitting in the garden with Bokusenou while the children were talking to their mother about everything under the sun in order to motivate Inuyasha to fight to live. The two eldest demons were talking quietly about what they knew to be true about Inuyasha's condition and to find a way to inform Mother Nature without receiving her horrid wrath. Well, that was more on InuTaisho's side; Bokusenou was more interested in giving the younger of the two the chewing of a lifetime because of his stupidity in following conformity instead of setting the trend.

"I understand that I was wrong in the way that I treated Inuyasha and I had been trying to make it up to him. Really, I was trying and he seemed to be forgiving me for a while and then he just suddenly stopped participating. It was almost like he was avoiding me. However, what's done is done and there is nothing I can do about that. However, I can make sure that my children have at least one parent left alive to take care of them by not dying by a fit of rage. And when the little one is born and if Inuyasha dies because of it, I will make sure that the child knows who their mother was and what a wonderful spirit that he had."

"That child would have its mother to know themselves if you had acted like the lord and king you were supposed to be and pulled your head out of your rear end. You may speak of regret and you may actually feel a bit of it, but you have no concept of all that you should truly be regretful of. That child suffered through hell at an age that every child should be sheltered. It was not his fault that his mother was human or that she was part of your harem or that she became pregnant with him. You had no right to place such a burden on his shoulders. Even worse you condoned the abuse and _torture_ of your mate for a century before you even blinked at your actions. Worse than that, though it should be impossible, it took repeated suicide attempts before you would even reconsider that your actions toward him had no basis. You have never even treated your enemies with such derision when they had done worse than that child. Don't snort at me. You were not the one who had to relive every moment of that child's life for over a decade and just when he had finally gained some peace, you and Mother Nature pushed your own agendas without thought to what you were putting that young one through. Had he been placed in any other family but yours, I am sure that child would have had the family, love, and happiness that he deserved more than any being on this plane of existence." InuTaisho had the decency to look ashamed, but kept his thoughts to himself. A yelp took both demons attention away from their conversation.

"What's going on?" InuTaisho asked as he turned more fully toward the room. Sesshoumaru was the one to answer.

"Momma's stomach!" He was in awe of the strangle ripples he could see across the skin of his unconscious mother's nine months pregnant belly. InuTaisho barked at the guards to send for Healer Pancho and his assistant and to tell him that Inuyasha had gone into labor.

Moments later, Pancho entered with his assistant that had replaced Inuyasha when the pup had mated to InuTaisho. Pancho had recommended that Inuyasha still be allowed to apprentice under him, more to give him an escape from what he knew would be hell for the child, but the DaiYoukai had shot that idea down before he had finished the sentence. Pancho and his unnamed assistant began to prepare the young consort and pushed both InuTaisho and the children out of the room so that they could work in peace.

The royal family paced outside the doors impatiently as they waited to hear news about the new addition and Inuyasha. The only sounds that they could hear were of Pancho barking orders at his assistant and his assistant's stuttering replies. InuTaisho was just moments away from bursting down the doors to see why it was taking so long when he heard the familiar wail of a newborn, but he also felt his heart plummet to the floor as he heard the panicked voices inside. Something was terribly wrong and InuTaisho had a feeling that Tenseiga (he had had it made after the death of his first mate in a wave of grief) would be needed. His assumptions were right as the assistant threw open the doors and relayed Pancho's words to him.

* * *

Nothing had worked. Inuyasha was gone and even Tenseiga had not been able to revive the sickly hanyou. However, in death, Inuyasha looked more peaceful and happy than he had ever looked in life. All of those present in the room could see the sweet smile that graced gaunt features and served to make Inuyasha look only that much more beautiful in death. Sesshoumaru was the first to break the stone silence as his grief caught up with him, tears falling, and sobs escaping from his usually un-emotional frame. The twins followed suit and attempted to cling to their mother's unmoving, no longer living body, but were held back in InuTaisho's arms as Pancho went about cleaning Inuyasha's body and preparing it for its last journey in their world. Bokusenou's voice, however, stopped them from doing anything beyond cleaning.

"Bring the child to me." Everyone was surprised and confused but no one protested the ancient one.

"He found peace within my branches when he was alive and I will watch over him in his eternal rest. He had to face the ravages of the people; I will not give them or _her_ chance to ravage him in his final resting place." Inuyasha's body was given into the sturdy branches of Bokusenou, who absorbed the fragile corpse before hefting his large bulk to return to his own home. Sesshoumaru stopped him before he moved.

"W-wi-will we still be able to see, Mama?" Bokusenou gave a grunt and answered gruffly.

"This is your parent, I would never deny a progeny that right. It is not my place." With those final words, Bokusenou began the long, arduous trip back to his home within the forest and leaving the family to grieve in peace and togetherness.

**A/N: This is the next to last chapter, so I hoped that you all enjoyed reading. Please keep the reviews coming. The sequel to Forsaken will be coming soon and I will try working on some of my other stories.**

**Cheers!**

**Nama**


	18. Chapter 18

Title: Love Me Love Me Not

Chapter: Ending

Date: February 6, 2011

Disclaimer: I do not own nor make any profit from the writing of this fiction.

InuTaisho watched the small child with familiar triangular puppy ears that rested in a nest of moonlight colored hair. Ever since the death of the child's mother, the DaiYoukai had made vast changes in the treatment of hanyous within his borders. The child that ran around so happily with a large smile on her face and looking so much like her mother was part of his inspiration for the changes that he had made. He had been making a slow effort before his mate had died, but when the death of Inuyasha and the fact that their first and only daughter had been denied the right to know her mother had pushed him over the brink. Iasha was born hanyou just as her mother had been, but this time, InuTaisho had been resolved and determined to do better by her than her other parent had had the opportunity.

InuTaisho had made it punishable by death to abuse any demon child regardless of parentage, had set up institutions for orphaned hanyous, and for those that were of age, he offered them citizenship so that they had the basic rights that both humans and demons shared that lived in the Western Lands. Not only that, next to the painting of his first mate and child, he had one commissioned of Inuyasha during his happiest moment hung next to theirs. He was determined to at least give that much to the pure soul that had deserved so much more in life than the hell that he had been given. It had been quite a shock (a bit of a slap in the face) to the servants and visitors of the palace who had known how the man had felt towards hanyous. None were suicidal enough to comment. However, that was yet to be the hardest thing that InuTaisho would have to do in his long life. No, the hardest thing that he would have to do was about to happen. He called his daughter to him from where she was annoying her brothers in the garden.

"Iasha."

"Yes, Father?" She came running to him in a way that he imagined Inuyasha would have done when he were little if he had ever been given the chance to be a child.

"Tomorrow you turn a century old and its time that you were given your birthright from you mother." With a heavy heart he led the she demon off into the forest that held the ancient tree demon Bokusenou. He made sure to leave a scent trail so she could find her way back since it was her first visit to the forest. All other visits had been made without her as they waited for her to become of age.

_

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_

My Dearest Daughter,

_I am sincerely sorry that I will never be able to watch you grow up or even be born. I knew I was not going to survive your birth and it is through no fault of yours. I want you to know that I do love you as much as remains of heart and I hope that when I pass on I can bless you with the life and happiness that I never had. I had a vision before my letter to you and I know that the life of a hanyou can be hard due to the prejudice of others. Please do not give up. I have seen that you will change the hearts of those that despise us hanyou for being of both worlds and yet we are of neither. I was ashamed of my heritage because of the pain it brought me, but I want you to know that you should never be ashamed of who or what you are. It has taken many decades for me to reach this conclusion and I am finally at peace, so please take my advice seriously. I know it can be hard, but no matter what others do to you, show them that hanyou are not weak and yet we are not monsters. Show them by loving everyone despites their faults and forgive them for assumptions. Be above them, but remain humble and always know that whenever you need help, I will be there to guide your path. Just call for me._

_Your Mother,_

_Inuyasha_

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As Iasha read the letter, InuTaisho had returned to the palace. While he waited for his daughter to read whatever confession was in the letter that Inuyasha had left in Pancho's care, he once again admired the painting that he had (at the time) been forced to commission as tradition states. It was of Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru, the day after Sesshoumaru had been born. Inuyasha had been nursing and he had been so happy that it was the first time that InuTaisho had seen such a beautiful and purely happy smile on his mate's face. Hopefully, his daughter would not hate him when she finished reading her mother's letter. He had changed from the man that had tormented such innocents.

**A/N: I know that it is anti-climatic, but I figure bittersweet fit this ending the best. The rest is up to you guys for interpretation. Please review to tell me what you think.**

**Nama**


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